2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
I have received numerous invitations to join you in a relationship, and I figured it was time to respond to your advances.”
So begins “Girls” star Allison Williams’ cringe-inducing (breakup? rejection?) letter to Twitter, the social media outlet of choice for Lena Dunham. Williams continues:
Before you jump to conclusions, it’s not that I’m seeing somebody else. I barely talk to Facebook anymore (we only ever speak when I need to expedite the name game after meeting a new person), too many friends have been with Instagram or Tumblr, and LinkedIn can ask until he’s blue in the face … not my type.
Williams basically rejects social media for the same reason that any of the characters do whatever it is they do on her show: Because they are all 20-somethings who are “still figuring things out.” Because they are “young!” and “making it up as I go!” Because they can “misfire (like a bad photo shoot or a weird outfit choice)” and because they are all trying to “protect myself from myself.”
I’m also a little self-conscious around you. OK — I’m very self-conscious around you. You’re kind of a tough critic. I always worry about what you would think of me, because I’ve seen the way you react to other people. Would you find me somehow offensive, or too boring, or too provocative, or too ironic, or too earnest? The thought that you would misread a joke makes me ill.
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.More Prachi Gupta.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.