SALON

Wednesday, Mar 27, 2013 9:03 PM UTC

Conservatives react to DOMA and Prop 8: The best of the worst

Gay marriage could be the end of children -- or capitalism. Erick Erickson just hopes there's room enough in hell

By

Topics: DoMA, prop 8, Gay Marriage, Supreme Court, edith windsor, , ,

Conservatives react to DOMA and Prop 8: The best of the worst (Credit: YouTube)

While nine justices of the Supreme Court spent Tuesday and Wednesday talking about real-live same-sex couples and their real-live children, Pat Robertson, Erick Erickson and other conservative Henny Pennys fretted incessantly that the heterosexual sky was falling.

A roundup of the very best of the very worst they had to say.

Pat Robertson

Allowing gay couples to access the same rights and benefits as straight couples is an attack on “the foundation of our society” led by “a few people [who] want to have their way of doing of sex affirmed by everybody else,” Robertson warned on the “700 Club” on Wednesday.

“They say it’s homophobia to believe that a marriage between a man and a woman is sanctioned by God. God is not a homophobe, God is almighty. He’s in charge of the world and this is the way he made it. Why? Because there isn’t any other way to have children. Two men do not have children, two women do not have children. That is the way God made it.”

Fox News contributor Erick Erickson

Erickson went on a Twitter tirade while the high court heard oral arguments on Tuesday and Wednesday, opining ”You’re not really loving your neighbor when you’re cool with him staying on the road to hell.”

Adding, “I don’t believe anyone who supports gay marriage and says polygamy is a bridge too far. It has far greater historic foundations” and “So when the left begins advocating polygamy, will they use the infinity sign instead of the equal sign?”

Despite all of the lip service (keyboard service?) to the sanctity of straight marriage, Erickson took a Twitter detour toendorse pretend Appalachian Trail-hiker and extramarital affair-haver Mark Sanford: “Mark Sanford is personally flawed, but so are we all in different ways. His policy convictions are sound. I will take that.”

Pastor Matthew Hagee

Breaking from the traditional line of panic, Hagee promised on “Hagee Hotline” that gay marriage would be the death of capitalism:

The only relationship in natural law that can produce consumers is the relationship between a man and a woman. When you create a society that does not recognize this relationship as the foundation of its existence and you cease to produce what is required to sustain your economy, you will not survive.

National Review columnist Kathryn Jean Lopez 

On Wednesday, Lopez nodded along with two conservatives who argued that it wasn’t federally sanctioned anti-gay discrimination that was keeping DOMA plaintiff Edith Windsor down, it was the “death tax!” Quoting heavily from Bill Breach and Ryan Anderson, Lopez suggests that its tax reform that could “really help” Windsor while sparing the country a “a judicially imposed revolution.”

Forget the fact that Windsor herself has said that the case is about more than estate taxes — it’s about affirming the value of her life with and love for Thea Clara Spyer. Spyer died in 2009, after 42 years as a couple and two years of marriage. Windsor called their decision to marry in 2009 “magic.”

“It turns out marriage is different,” Windsor told reporters on Wednesday. “It’s a magic word. It is magic.”

Lopez later took to Twitter to suggest (in tweet-speak) that “2 legalize marriage btween 2 people of same sex would enshrine in law that moms & dads are interchangeable or irrelevant…”

National Organization for Marriage spokesperson Jennifer Roback Morse

Addressing the sparsely attended conservative March for Marriage, Roback Morse warned that the children of gay couples will “resent their parents” for putting their “selfish adult needs” first (emphasis mine):

Eventually, young people are going to see that redefining marriage sets aside the interests of children for the convenience of adults. Now in the unhappy event that the Court should redefine marriage, which we pray that they will not — we pray that they will allow us to continue this nationwide conversation and discussion that we desperately need to have. But if they do redefine marriage, 40 years from the young people of that generation will have one simply question for our generation, “What were you thinking?”

They’re going to say, “Dad, you and your partner are lovely guys, I love you Dad, but did you really think I would never need a mom? What were you thinking?” “Mom, I know you love me, you and your partner are nice ladies, but the biological connection that was so important to you — did you think it would never be important to me? What were you thinking? What were you thinking?” That’s what they’re going to ask us.

 

 

 

Katie Mcdonough

Katie McDonough is an assistant editor for Salon, focusing on lifestyle. Follow her on Twitter @kmcdonovgh or email her at kmcdonough@salon.com. More Katie Mcdonough.

You Might Also Like

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

7 motorist-friendly camping sites

close X
  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 9

Sponsored Post

  • White River National Forest via Lower Crystal Lake, Colorado
    For those OK with the mainstream, White River Forest welcomes more than 10 million visitors a year, making it the most-visited recreation forest in the nation. But don’t hate it for being beautiful; it’s got substance, too. The forest boasts 8 wilderness areas, 2,500 miles of trail, 1,900 miles of winding service system roads, and 12 ski resorts (should your snow shredders fit the trunk space). If ice isn’t your thing: take the tire-friendly Flat Tops Trail Scenic Byway — 82 miles connecting the towns of Meeker and Yampa, half of which is unpaved for you road rebels.
    fs.usda.gov/whiteriveryou


    Image credit: Getty

  • Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest via Noontootla Creek, Georgia
    Boasting 10 wildernesses, 430 miles of trail and 1,367 miles of trout-filled stream, this Georgia forest is hailed as a camper’s paradise. Try driving the Ridge and Valley Scenic Byway, which saw Civil War battles fought. If the tall peaks make your engine tremble, opt for the relatively flat Oconee National Forest, which offers smaller hills and an easy trail to the ghost town of Scull Shoals. Scaredy-cats can opt for John’s Mountain Overlook, which leads to twin waterfalls for the sensitive sightseer in you.
    fs.usda.gov/conf


    Image credit: flickr/chattoconeenf

  • Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness Area via Green Road, Michigan
    The only national forest in Lower Michigan, the Huron-Mainstee spans nearly 1 million acres of public land. Outside the requisite lush habitat for fish and wildlife on display, the Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness Area is among the biggest hooks for visitors: offering beach camping with shores pounded by big, cerulean surf. Splash in some rum and you just might think you were in the Caribbean.
    fs.usda.gov/hmnf


    Image credit: umich.edu

  • Canaan Mountain via Backcountry Canaan Loop Road, West Virginia
    A favorite hailed by outdoorsman and author Johnny Molloy as some of the best high-country car camping sites anywhere in the country, you don’t have to go far to get away. Travel 20 miles west of Dolly Sods (among the busiest in the East) to find the Canaan Backcountry (for more quiet and peace). Those willing to leave the car for a bit and foot it would be remiss to neglect day-hiking the White Rim Rocks, Table Rock Overlook, or the rim at Blackwater River Gorge.
    fs.usda.gov/mnf


    Image credit: Getty

  • Mt. Rogers NRA via Hurricane Creek Road, North Carolina
    Most know it as the highest country they’ll see from North Carolina to New Hampshire. What they may not know? Car campers can get the same grand experience for less hassle. Drop the 50-pound backpacks and take the highway to the high country by stopping anywhere on the twisting (hence the name) Hurricane Road for access to a 15-mile loop that boasts the best of the grassy balds. It’s the road less travelled, and the high one, at that.
    fs.usda.gov/gwj


    Image credit: wikipedia.org

  • Long Key State Park via the Overseas Highway, Florida
    Hiking can get old; sometimes you’d rather paddle. For a weekend getaway of the coastal variety and quieter version of the Florida Keys that’s no less luxe, stick your head in the sand (and ocean, if snorkeling’s your thing) at any of Long Key’s 60 sites. Canoes and kayaks are aplenty, as are the hot showers and electric power source amenities. Think of it as the getaway from the typical getaway.
    floridastateparks.org/longkey/default.cfm


    Image credit: floridastateparks.org

  • Grand Canyon National Park via Crazy Jug Point, Arizona
    You didn’t think we’d neglect one of the world’s most famous national parks, did you? Nor would we dare lead you astray with one of the busiest parts of the park. With the Colorado River still within view of this cliff-edge site, Crazy Jug is a carside camper’s refuge from the troops of tourists. Find easy access to the Bill Hall Trail less than a mile from camp, and descend to get a peek at the volcanic Mt. Trumbull. (Fear not: It’s about as active as your typical lazy Sunday in front of the tube, if not more peaceful.)
    fs.usda.gov/kaibab


    Image credit: flickr/Irish Typepad

  • As the go-to (weekend) getaway car for fiscally conscious field trips with friends, the 2013 MINI Convertible is your campground racer of choice, allowing you and up to three of your co-pilots to take in all the beauty of nature high and low. And with a fuel efficiency that won’t leave you in the latter, you won’t have to worry about being left stranded (or awkwardly asking to go halfsies on gas expenses).


    Image credit: miniusa.com

  • Recent Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 9

Related Videos

Comments

 61 Comments

Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username ( settings | log out )

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>

follow salon

Most Read

Popular on Reddit

links from salon.com

vote
Let's Stop Screwing Around and Impeach James Clapper: After lying to Congress about all the different ways the NSA's spying on us, Director of National Intelligence James Clapper lies about how he lied. Call the White House at 202 456-1111 and Tell Obama to Get Rid of Clapper
124 points125 points | 9 comments
vote
Machiavelli doesn’t belong to the 1 percent | "The Prince" is oft-quoted on Wall Street, but its author was a hero of the working class who despised elites
69 points70 points | 19 comments
vote
We must hate our children
63 points64 points | 11 comments
vote
Machiavelli doesn’t belong to the 1 percent | "The Prince" is oft-quoted on Wall Street, but its author was a hero of the working class who despised elites
54 points55 points | 16 comments
vote
Let's Stop Screwing Around and Impeach James Clapper: After lying to Congress about all the different ways the NSA's spying on us, Director of National Intelligence James Clapper lies about how he lied. Call the White House at 202 456-1111 and Tell Obama to Get Rid of Clapper
63 points64 points | 6 comments

From Around the Web

Presented by Scribol
listener_new_rect The Listener: "The Joker": Laughing at life's deepest sorrows