2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Jon Hamm is tired of stories about Jon Hamm’s Hamm. In a preview of next month’s Rolling Stone profile, the “Mad Men” actor addresses the undue attention that his penis has received from the media. “Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek,” he told contributing editor Josh Eells. “But it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have – a prurience.”
The “prurient” media has enjoyed speculating the size of Hamm’s penis for several years, egged on by the knowledge that the actor often goes commando under seemingly clingy pants. But after a particularly revealing photo of Hamm and girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt walking down Madison Avenue went viral last year, Hamm’s distinctive bulge became a full-fledged Internet meme. In response to the photo, a “Mad Men” insider told the Huffington Post: “He doesn’t know this, but we used to have to airbrush it out of pics sometimes,” adding, “Jon is a big boy but sometimes it can be distracting.”
Like Angelina Jolie’s leg, or Steve Buscemi’s eyes, the Internet riffed off the joke and gave Hamm’s penis an identity of its own. Unlike a leg or eyes, however, jokes about genitalia can be a bit more intrusive:
“I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal … But whatever. I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”
Hamm will be “exposed” when the issue hits newsstands on March 29.
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at email@example.com.More Prachi Gupta.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.