Young, gay and trying too hard
New research finds that male sexual minorities often compensate for stigma by overachieving
By Tracy Clark-FloryTopics: LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBT Rights, Gay Rights, homosexuality, Homophobia, Life News
In his memoir-cum-manifesto, Yale Law School professor Kenji Yoshino wrote of his college years, “I sensed these bodies knew other bodies the way I knew calculus or Shakespeare,” he said. “On Saturday nights, I would sit in my cement-block dorm room with my face lit green by my IBM’s glow, agonizing not over women, or men, but line breaks.” That’s because Yoshino was gay and in the closet — and, according to what’s known as the “Best Little Boy in the World” hypothesis, perhaps overcompensating for the stigma he faced as a sexual minority.
This theory holds that closeted young men in bigoted environments often respond by overachieving in certain areas, like sports or academics — the idea being that it’s an adaptive means of finding a sense of self-worth where they can. It can also serve to distract from their sexuality: As Andrew Tobias wrote in his 1976 memoir, “The Best Little Boy in the World,” a key “line of defense” was his endless list of activities. “No one could expect me to be out dating … when I had a list of 17 urgent projects to complete,” he wrote.
Despite the prevalence of this idea in gay coming-of-age narratives, it’s never been tested empirically, until now. In a study recently published in the journal Basic and Applied Social Psychology, researchers interviewed 195 male colleges students who identified as either heterosexual or a “sexual minority.” They found that the sexual minority men based their sense of self-worth on “academics,” “appearance” and “competition” more so than the straight guys. Interestingly, the amount of time the gay men had spent hiding their sexual identity positively predicted their investment in these areas. The researchers also developed a way to objectively measure the amount of stigma each participant faced in their particular environment by evaluating their home state’s general stance toward sexual minorities. That measure of stigma also positively “predicted the degree to which young sexual minority men sought self-worth through competition.”
In many ways this seems a healthy adaptation to unfortunate stigma, but it also comes with negative consequences. The more importance a sexual minority participant placed on academic achievement, the more socially isolated he found himself. Not too surprisingly, “the more they invested their self-worth on the way they looked, the more problematic their eating; and the more they based their self-worth on besting others, the more likely they were to find themselves being dishonest, arguing, and experiencing emotional distress.”
What about female sexual minorities, you might ask? “The notion of the ‘best little boy in the world’ crops up everywhere in stories about gay men’s early lives and not as much in the narratives of young lesbians,” lead researcher John Pachankis of Yeshiva University told me in an email. “That certainly doesn’t mean that women don’t experience a similar phenomenon, but only that lesbians’ personal stories don’t seem to emphasize it as much.” Exploring that particular question is a next step for research, he says. Speaking of next steps, it’s worth noting that the study is limited by its sample size and, as with most studies, its exclusive focus on college students. It is by no means definitive, but it’s certainly a great jumping off point for further research.
So what can parents practically take away from this finding? ”Of course, having focus and passion about a particular issue is a sign of healthy flourishing among most kids,” says Pachankis, who recently blogged about his research on Psychology Today. “But if a child’s sense of self-worth seems particularly tied to success in any one domain, like competitions, appearance or grades, that’s probably a sign for parents to discuss with their child the motivation behind those accomplishments.” But of course the first step is to create “an open, safe home environment where LGBT people are respected and valued.”
Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter and Facebook. More Tracy Clark-Flory.
You Might Also Like
More Related Stories
-
Hummus: The yummy Middle Eastern invasion
-
Irish lawmakers back measure to allow for abortion in limited cases
-
The downside to saying sorry
-
Huge document dump shows how Church protected abusers
-
Female astronauts wear bras, says an astronaut
-
Bizarre gay pride photobomb makes it to front page of local paper
-
LeVar Burton explains how not to be killed by police
-
Meet the Wendy Davis truthers
-
Who deserves a new lung?
-
Christian leaders have always been misogynists
-
Five states see new antiabortion laws go into effect
-
My year of modesty
-
Six amazing signs from the "Stand with Texas Women" rally
-
Edward Snowden releases statement from Moscow
-
Hey, GOP: Mexican immigrants aren't necessarily Democrats
-
Best of the worst: Right-wing tweets on the Texas abortion battle
-
Texas Senate meets, promptly votes to recess until July 9
-
Erick Erickson, Internet comedian, jokes about reproductive rights
-
Greeting cards for the terminally ill are a great idea
-
Be employable, study philosophy
-
Planned Parenthood gets the Tami Taylor seal of approval
Featured Slide Shows
7 motorist-friendly camping sites
close X- Share on Twitter
- Share on Facebook
- Thumbnails
- Fullscreen
- 1 of 9
- Previous
- Next
Sponsored Post
-
White River National Forest via Lower Crystal Lake, Colorado For those OK with the mainstream, White River Forest welcomes more than 10 million visitors a year, making it the most-visited recreation forest in the nation. But don’t hate it for being beautiful; it’s got substance, too. The forest boasts 8 wilderness areas, 2,500 miles of trail, 1,900 miles of winding service system roads, and 12 ski resorts (should your snow shredders fit the trunk space). If ice isn’t your thing: take the tire-friendly Flat Tops Trail Scenic Byway — 82 miles connecting the towns of Meeker and Yampa, half of which is unpaved for you road rebels. fs.usda.gov/whiteriveryou
Image credit: Getty
-
Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest via Noontootla Creek, GeorgiaBoasting 10 wildernesses, 430 miles of trail and 1,367 miles of trout-filled stream, this Georgia forest is hailed as a camper’s paradise. Try driving the Ridge and Valley Scenic Byway, which saw Civil War battles fought. If the tall peaks make your engine tremble, opt for the relatively flat Oconee National Forest, which offers smaller hills and an easy trail to the ghost town of Scull Shoals. Scaredy-cats can opt for John’s Mountain Overlook, which leads to twin waterfalls for the sensitive sightseer in you. fs.usda.gov/conf
Image credit: flickr/chattoconeenf
-
Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness Area via Green Road, Michigan The only national forest in Lower Michigan, the Huron-Mainstee spans nearly 1 million acres of public land. Outside the requisite lush habitat for fish and wildlife on display, the Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness Area is among the biggest hooks for visitors: offering beach camping with shores pounded by big, cerulean surf. Splash in some rum and you just might think you were in the Caribbean. fs.usda.gov/hmnf
Image credit: umich.edu
-
Canaan Mountain via Backcountry Canaan Loop Road, West Virginia A favorite hailed by outdoorsman and author Johnny Molloy as some of the best high-country car camping sites anywhere in the country, you don’t have to go far to get away. Travel 20 miles west of Dolly Sods (among the busiest in the East) to find the Canaan Backcountry (for more quiet and peace). Those willing to leave the car for a bit and foot it would be remiss to neglect day-hiking the White Rim Rocks, Table Rock Overlook, or the rim at Blackwater River Gorge. fs.usda.gov/mnf
Image credit: Getty
-
Mt. Rogers NRA via Hurricane Creek Road, North CarolinaMost know it as the highest country they’ll see from North Carolina to New Hampshire. What they may not know? Car campers can get the same grand experience for less hassle. Drop the 50-pound backpacks and take the highway to the high country by stopping anywhere on the twisting (hence the name) Hurricane Road for access to a 15-mile loop that boasts the best of the grassy balds. It’s the road less travelled, and the high one, at that. fs.usda.gov/gwj
Image credit: wikipedia.org
-
Long Key State Park via the Overseas Highway, Florida Hiking can get old; sometimes you’d rather paddle. For a weekend getaway of the coastal variety and quieter version of the Florida Keys that’s no less luxe, stick your head in the sand (and ocean, if snorkeling’s your thing) at any of Long Key’s 60 sites. Canoes and kayaks are aplenty, as are the hot showers and electric power source amenities. Think of it as the getaway from the typical getaway. floridastateparks.org/longkey/default.cfm
Image credit: floridastateparks.org
-
Grand Canyon National Park via Crazy Jug Point, Arizona You didn’t think we’d neglect one of the world’s most famous national parks, did you? Nor would we dare lead you astray with one of the busiest parts of the park. With the Colorado River still within view of this cliff-edge site, Crazy Jug is a carside camper’s refuge from the troops of tourists. Find easy access to the Bill Hall Trail less than a mile from camp, and descend to get a peek at the volcanic Mt. Trumbull. (Fear not: It’s about as active as your typical lazy Sunday in front of the tube, if not more peaceful.) fs.usda.gov/kaibab
Image credit: flickr/Irish Typepad
-
As the go-to (weekend) getaway car for fiscally conscious field trips with friends, the 2013 MINI Convertible is your campground racer of choice, allowing you and up to three of your co-pilots to take in all the beauty of nature high and low. And with a fuel efficiency that won’t leave you in the latter, you won’t have to worry about being left stranded (or awkwardly asking to go halfsies on gas expenses).
Image credit: miniusa.com
-
Recent Slide Shows
-
7 motorist-friendly camping sites
-
Gripping photos: The people of the Turkey protests (slideshow)
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Photos: Turmoil and tear gas in Instanbul's Gezi Park - Slideshow
-
- Share on Twitter
- Share on Facebook
- Thumbnails
- Fullscreen
- 1 of 9
- Previous
- Next
-
The week in 10 pics
-
10 summer food festivals worth the pit stop
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
9 amazing drive-in movie theaters still standing
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Netflix's April Fools' Day categories
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
Related Videos
Most Read
-
We must hate our children Joan Walsh
-
NSA reportedly has secret data collection agreement with several European countries Prachi Gupta
-
The best of Tumblr porn Tracy Clark-Flory
-
James Clapper is still lying to America David Sirota
-
Thanks for nothing, college! Tim Donovan
-
Before Edward Snowden: "Sexual deviates" and the NSA Rick Anderson
-
You are how you sneeze Ryan O'Hanlon, Pacific Standard
-
SCOTUS: No right to remain silent unless you speak up Christopher Zara, International Business Times
-
The smearing of Rachel Jeantel Mary Elizabeth Williams
-
Texas Senate meets, promptly votes to recess until July 9 Katie Mcdonough
Popular on Reddit
links from salon.com

258 points259 points260 points | 11 comments

126 points127 points128 points | 21 comments

36 points37 points38 points | 6 comments
From Around the Web
Presented by Scribol
-

Diane Gilman: Baby Boomers: A New Life-Construct -- From "Invisible to Invincible!"
-

Susan Gregory Thomas: Why Divorced Boomer Moms Don't Deserve The Bad Rap
-

British Nanny Offered An Annual Salary Of $200,000
-

Arianna Huffington: What I Did (and Didn't Do) On My Summer Vacation
-

Vivian Diller, Ph.D.: Maybe Happiness Begins At 50





Comments
13 Comments