SALON

Tuesday, Jun 25, 2013 3:02 PM UTC

The endless slut-shaming of Weiner’s women

Anthony Weiner may be enjoying a second act, but the women he messaged are still being punished

By

Topics: Anthony Weiner, Sexting, New York Times, New York City, Twitter,

The endless slut-shaming of Weiner's womenAnthony Weiner (Credit: AP/Seth Wenig)

The guardians of morality have a lengthy and remarkably selective memory. And what has long been excused in a man can be an enduring badge of shame for a woman. It’s been two years since Anthony Weiner’s penis went viral and his career took an abrupt detour in light of revelations regarding his explicit online communications with at least six women. His resignation from Congress prompted a gold mine of tabloid headlines and a deluge of moral outrage from the punditsphere, all of which briefly kicked up again when he last month announced his intention to run for mayor of New York City. Yet despite the jokey New York Post headlines and the muttering accusations of sleaziness that he will always bear, Weiner is doing pretty well today. He still has his wife and the son she bore him just months after the scandal broke. He has a viable political career. But as a New York Times story this week has revealed, the women who were on the receiving end of Weiner’s attentions have fared differently.

As Michael Barbaro writes, blackjack dealer Lisa Weiss, who two years ago gave Radar her innuendo-laden exchanges with Weiner, says that casino customers taunt her with dirty talk, colleagues shun her, and strangers send her angry emails. “I cannot tell you the devastation,” she says. “I obsess about it, every day … I thought I could control it.” Former adult star Ginger Lee, meanwhile, says, “Every new headline and news story about him reminds reporters and bloggers that we exist, and the cycle starts all over.” “There will be a new flare-up of jokes, inaccurate statements and hurtful remarks,” she adds. Former teacher and fitness instructor Traci Nobles says she was forced to quit her job after her involvement with Weiner became public. And Gennette Cordova, the college student who received that notorious, unsolicited bulge photograph, has had reporters show up, “unannounced, at her office, asking her about Mr. Weiner.”

The Times story is a vivid example of what happens when a woman is dragged into the spotlight because of a prominent man. Some of the women Weiner corresponded with say their online relationship was consensual. Cordova has maintained Weiner’s overture to her was an “unwanted advance.” Yet none of the women broke the law or broke a marriage vow — none did anything, in short, that makes their behavior worthy of enduring harassment or shunning. Yet even in the Times comments, among the readers sympathetic to the notion that “the double standard is alive and well,” you’ll find plenty of vitriol for those “too sensitive” women who were “equally stupid” as Weiner, women who need to accept that “You play, you pay,” and that “No one on either side is a victim here, except of their own lack of self control.”

And if ever falling prey to a lack of self-control were a capital offense, there’d be very few people left to carry on the human race. What is chilling about the Times piece on the women who found themselves in Weiner’s orbit is that it reveals a seemingly bottomless public appetite for shame. It suggests that we live in a country chock-full of self-appointed judges, who eagerly seize upon what they perceive as their permission to be bullies. And that it just never ends. In a statement Tuesday, Anthony Weiner said, “I have deep regret for the women’s lives who were turned upside down by their unwitting involvement in all of this. One of the reasons I had been so reluctant to speak about them is that they’re entitled to their privacy and I want to reiterate that sense of apology, and I’ve never talked about the private exchanges that we’ve had and I never will, because I think that they’ve already been put through enough.” But while Weiner may be through discussing them as he strives toward his political goals, it’s clear the women he’s left behind are still being punished, every day.

Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.

You Might Also Like

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

7 motorist-friendly camping sites

close X
  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 9

Sponsored Post

  • White River National Forest via Lower Crystal Lake, Colorado
    For those OK with the mainstream, White River Forest welcomes more than 10 million visitors a year, making it the most-visited recreation forest in the nation. But don’t hate it for being beautiful; it’s got substance, too. The forest boasts 8 wilderness areas, 2,500 miles of trail, 1,900 miles of winding service system roads, and 12 ski resorts (should your snow shredders fit the trunk space). If ice isn’t your thing: take the tire-friendly Flat Tops Trail Scenic Byway — 82 miles connecting the towns of Meeker and Yampa, half of which is unpaved for you road rebels.
    fs.usda.gov/whiteriveryou


    Image credit: Getty

  • Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest via Noontootla Creek, Georgia
    Boasting 10 wildernesses, 430 miles of trail and 1,367 miles of trout-filled stream, this Georgia forest is hailed as a camper’s paradise. Try driving the Ridge and Valley Scenic Byway, which saw Civil War battles fought. If the tall peaks make your engine tremble, opt for the relatively flat Oconee National Forest, which offers smaller hills and an easy trail to the ghost town of Scull Shoals. Scaredy-cats can opt for John’s Mountain Overlook, which leads to twin waterfalls for the sensitive sightseer in you.
    fs.usda.gov/conf


    Image credit: flickr/chattoconeenf

  • Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness Area via Green Road, Michigan
    The only national forest in Lower Michigan, the Huron-Mainstee spans nearly 1 million acres of public land. Outside the requisite lush habitat for fish and wildlife on display, the Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness Area is among the biggest hooks for visitors: offering beach camping with shores pounded by big, cerulean surf. Splash in some rum and you just might think you were in the Caribbean.
    fs.usda.gov/hmnf


    Image credit: umich.edu

  • Canaan Mountain via Backcountry Canaan Loop Road, West Virginia
    A favorite hailed by outdoorsman and author Johnny Molloy as some of the best high-country car camping sites anywhere in the country, you don’t have to go far to get away. Travel 20 miles west of Dolly Sods (among the busiest in the East) to find the Canaan Backcountry (for more quiet and peace). Those willing to leave the car for a bit and foot it would be remiss to neglect day-hiking the White Rim Rocks, Table Rock Overlook, or the rim at Blackwater River Gorge.
    fs.usda.gov/mnf


    Image credit: Getty

  • Mt. Rogers NRA via Hurricane Creek Road, North Carolina
    Most know it as the highest country they’ll see from North Carolina to New Hampshire. What they may not know? Car campers can get the same grand experience for less hassle. Drop the 50-pound backpacks and take the highway to the high country by stopping anywhere on the twisting (hence the name) Hurricane Road for access to a 15-mile loop that boasts the best of the grassy balds. It’s the road less travelled, and the high one, at that.
    fs.usda.gov/gwj


    Image credit: wikipedia.org

  • Long Key State Park via the Overseas Highway, Florida
    Hiking can get old; sometimes you’d rather paddle. For a weekend getaway of the coastal variety and quieter version of the Florida Keys that’s no less luxe, stick your head in the sand (and ocean, if snorkeling’s your thing) at any of Long Key’s 60 sites. Canoes and kayaks are aplenty, as are the hot showers and electric power source amenities. Think of it as the getaway from the typical getaway.
    floridastateparks.org/longkey/default.cfm


    Image credit: floridastateparks.org

  • Grand Canyon National Park via Crazy Jug Point, Arizona
    You didn’t think we’d neglect one of the world’s most famous national parks, did you? Nor would we dare lead you astray with one of the busiest parts of the park. With the Colorado River still within view of this cliff-edge site, Crazy Jug is a carside camper’s refuge from the troops of tourists. Find easy access to the Bill Hall Trail less than a mile from camp, and descend to get a peek at the volcanic Mt. Trumbull. (Fear not: It’s about as active as your typical lazy Sunday in front of the tube, if not more peaceful.)
    fs.usda.gov/kaibab


    Image credit: flickr/Irish Typepad

  • As the go-to (weekend) getaway car for fiscally conscious field trips with friends, the 2013 MINI Convertible is your campground racer of choice, allowing you and up to three of your co-pilots to take in all the beauty of nature high and low. And with a fuel efficiency that won’t leave you in the latter, you won’t have to worry about being left stranded (or awkwardly asking to go halfsies on gas expenses).


    Image credit: miniusa.com

  • Recent Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • Thumbnails
  • Fullscreen
  • 1 of 9

Related Videos

Comments

Loading Comments...

follow salon

Most Read

Popular on Reddit

links from salon.com

vote
We crush them with debt to go to college -- and today, rates are actually set to double. Are we out of our minds?
3289 points3290 points | 4081 comments
vote
Before Edward Snowden: “Sexual deviates” and the NSA - When the last major defection hit the NSA, the government smeared the leakers as gay. New documents show they lied
2681 points2682 points | 188 comments
vote
This man is still lying to America: A smoking gun shows Director of National Intelligence James Clapper is not coming clean to us -- again
789 points790 points | 43 comments
vote
We must hate our children. We crush them with debt to go to college -- and today, rates are actually set to double. Are we out of our minds?
111 points112 points | 17 comments
vote
James Clapper is still lying to America
86 points87 points | comment

From Around the Web

Presented by Scribol
listener_new_rect The Listener: "The Joker": Laughing at life's deepest sorrows