Must-see morning clip: Stephen Colbert’s advice for straight married couples

The Supreme Court strikes down DOMA and Proposition 8, altering "traditional marriage" forever VIDEO

Topics: Video, Must see morning clip, DoMA, Gay Marriage, prop 8, SCOTUS, Supreme Court,

Must-see morning clip: Stephen Colbert's advice for straight married couples

Stephen Colbert feigned outrage over the Supreme Court’s ruling that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional on “The Colbert Report” last night. “It was passed in 1996 to guarantee that traditional marriage was between one man and one woman for the sacred purpose of getting Bill Clinton reelected,” he said.

Colbert’s advice for those who feel that the institution of marriage is now threatened: “Traditional marriage is as defenseless as a freshman frat pledge about to go through the spanking machine. So straight people listen up: If a gay charges your marriage, you’re gonna want to puff yourself up — make yourself seem bigger — try to frighten ‘it’ off by talking in a firm loud voice about pleated denim or Jimmy Buffett.”



Prachi Gupta

Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at pgupta@salon.com.

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 13
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails
    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Api Étoile

    Like little stars.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Calville Blanc

    World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Chenango Strawberry

    So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Chestnut Crab

    My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    D'Arcy Spice

    High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Esopus Spitzenberg

    Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Granite Beauty

    New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Hewes Crab

    Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Hidden Rose

    Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Knobbed Russet

    Freak city.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Newtown Pippin

    Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.

    Clare Barboza/Bloomsbury

    Uncommon Apples

    Pitmaston Pineapple

    Really does taste like pineapple.

  • Recent Slide Shows

Comments

Loading Comments...