2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Cuddling, while very nice in theory, can often be very uncomfortable. In an effort to feel a little less alone in an indifferent and sometimes hostile world, people suffer through numb limbs, strained necks and persistent renegotiations of bodily alignment that disrupt restful sleep. And, as we all know, not getting enough sleep is slowly killing us all.
Hoping to address these hazards (sleep discomfort, human loneliness), someone has invented a mattress that allows you to wedge your arms and feet in between a series of pillowy slats, which may help to better facilitate cuddling. The mattress also comes with specialized fitted sheets, which may help to better facilitate sanitary sleeping conditions.
Mehdi Mojtabavi’s innovation is not yet in production, but the “Cuddle Mattress” prototype won a 2007 Red Dot award and was a 2008 Industrial Designers Society of America finalist. And while Mojtabavi failed to raise $75,000 in start-up money through a crowd-sourced fundraising campaign, he is currently seeking other investors to get his idea on the market.
But in the meantime, here is a highly scientific instructional video to help you deal with cuddle-related discomfort:
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.