Like little stars.
Summer is officially over, and though some of us are already digging out the woolly hats and gloves in preparation for the predictably cold autumn, there are others who are not quite ready to let it go.
And the good news is you don’t have to.
We have conjured up a genius plan that enables you to take time off work, relax, save money and watch Breaking Bad all day (if you wish, it could also be the perfect opportunity to sort out your Christmas jumper selection, whatever you’d prefer).
The answer to all your problems is a fake vacation, otherwise known as a fakeation.
Moreover, with over 1 million iPhone and Android apps available, it has never been easier to pull this off.
Here is a step by step plan to pulling off a fakeation in style:
Everyone knows that the first stage of preparing for a holiday is getting the perfect beach bod. Turn on RunKeeper, go for a jog and post your results to Facebook and Twitter with a suitably supporting status.
This app creates a checklist for things you cannot forget to take with you. Even if you’re not actually going, you can still plan what to pack, right?
First things first, set your ring tag to holiday mode. Ringtagz is an app that allows you to change the ring your caller hears, the holiday setting will play an overseas dial tone to them without you even having to leave the country.
4. Google Translate
Post a status on ‘arrival’ in the language of where you have ‘travelled to’, say the local bar tender (Enrique) taught you it, no one ever needs to know.
NB: Probably best to make sure your GPS is turned off at this stage otherwise it all could all get quite embarrassing.
Upload one of these generic holiday snaps to Instagram:
6. Fake tan!
One of the most crucial stages of this covert operation. Unfortunately there is no app that can do this for you, but make sure you have put on enough fake tan to make your story believable.
This app allows you to read travel guides, it is probably best to get clued up on the area you are supposed to have visited, just so you can drop it into conversations on your return to work.
Fotopedia is a photo encyclopedia that has over 755,000 photos of places around the world. You can use this app to show people who are interested pictures of the ‘view from your balcony’.
Okay, we admit that taking a fakeation may require some, or a lot, of upkeep. And admittedly you would have to be very bored, if not a little sad, to commit to it. But it’s nice to know you can take one if you wanted, right?
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.