My Sad, Broken iPhone 4S
I am typing this on an old decrepit iPhone.
greetings! I’m live blogging today’s iPhone event, at which we’re expecting to see at least one new iPhone, from my old iPhone 4S, which is moderately broken. There’s a hairline crack on the left side of the screen, which is unsightly and also sometimes makes it hard to select things on that side. The back is pretty much shattered, which is a recent development. (I put the iPhone on the armrest of my couch and the. N kicked it off while napping, like a dog having dreams about chasing squirrels except I think that day I literally had a dream in which I bought too many radishes (???).)
12:15: haha omg HTML is SUCH A BITCH to use on an iPhone. This is going to be slow as hell. Also my phone is already VERY hot from the effort of just setting up this post.
12:18: the cracks on the back of the phone are shedding small shards of glass into my palm.
12:20: whoops I guess the HTML screwed up the bold text on that last update. My editors aren’t allowed near this post, btw. It’s probably wise of them to distance themselves from it.
12:26 I’m also using 3G because 1. That’s the only network his shitty old phone has and 2. I’ve never been able to figure out how the in-office wifi works here at popsci. I’m a professional tech journalist btw
12:30: who the hell decided GLASS was a good material for a thing you fumble with while drunk. Jon I’ve is this your fault
12:35: I’m sitting at my desk, with a nice new iMac and a LEYBOARD AND MOUSE and an extra monitor and typing this on a cracked 3-inch screen like an idiot
12:37 I forget where the carrot symbol is every single time I need to type it, the iPhone is not liveblog-friendly, 4/5 stars
12:39 I messe up the closing HTML tags again
12:44/ sometimes my phone stops saying it has 3G signals and instead gives me this little sad circle. But I haven’t moved! I’m in the same chair I was in when I had 3G. I don’t get it
12:46 I HATE THOSE CLOSING HTML TAGS WHYYYYY also I keep clicking on ads by mistake which is screwing everything up. Hey does emoji work in our CMS? :confounded:
12:50 nope no emojis
12:52: a telemarketer just called and interrupted my live blogging. Good news though: there is no problem with my credit card
12:56 wait is there no love stream? Ughhhhhh fine I’ll read the Verge’s liveblog. I’d link to it but by the time I finished writing the HTML for a link the event would be over.
12:58 lol “love stream” that’s nsfw, iPhone.
1:05 i just saw a picture of Tim cook in front of a black projection screen tha says “Retail.” Cool
1:09 I have to pee. The cool thig, the only cool thing, about iPhone liveblog gig is that I can do it from the bathroom.
1:11 I’m peeing
1:14 Tim cook is talking about ios7 now, which is pretty but not new. I’ve written about it before, I would link to previous coverage if that seemed technically feasible. Go to popsci.com I guess
1:16 the verge says there are “new, more textures ringtones.” I never tried to touch a ringtone before but I hope the texture is like the fur of an Australian brush tail possum.
1:20 commenter says “I do not understand how this guy still has a job… This is one of the dumbest blogposts I’ve ever seen.
First of all, the biggest problem you have with your iPhone is your own fault. You can’t really blame Apple for your inability to keep your phone safe.”