Like little stars.
The geniuses at CNN have devised yet another way to avoid reporting real news, noted “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart, by including a “couch-walking” segment in talk show “New Day.”
As the name suggests, the segment involves news anchors walking from a table to a couch, while airing a message from a sponsor. “What we see as a simple mechanical blocking issue that perhaps could have been taken care of during a commercial break, they see as a ‘newspportunity,’” Stewart explained.
And … to the couch!
“What the hell just happened?!” exclaimed Stewart. “They came back from commercials to a commercial, covering what they could have done during the commercial!”
But “the sponsored couch walk is so gloriously, cravenly unnecessary that I think I’m in love with it,” he said, before trying to level with the heads of CNN. “Let me say something to the heads of CNN, the people that run CNN: Don’t make these people do this,” Stewart pleaded. “Don’t crush their spirits.”
In case network heads are looking for other creative ways to not report the news, “The Daily Show” has some other suggestions:
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at email@example.com.More Prachi Gupta.
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.