The best moments of the Golden Globes

Jacqueline Bisset rambles! Matthew McConaughey is dazed and confused! A "beautiful mess" indeed

Topics: Golden Globes, golden globes 2014, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, 12 years a slave, U2, Matthew McConaughey, Gravity, Woody Allen,

The best moments of the Golden GlobesTina Fey and Amy Poehler during the 71st annual Golden Globe Awards, Jan. 12, 2014. (Credit: AP/Paul Drinkwater)

In the end, the hosts said, “This was the beautiful mess we hoped it would be,” and they were right. From the deft tag-team hosting job of Fey and Poehler to Emma Thompson’s bare feet to an appearance by the 80-year-old Philomena Lee, Sunday night was one of the most entertaining, emotional and, yes, messy Globes in ages. Praise be. Here are our favorite moments.

Tina and Amy’s opening monologue

After killing it last year, the ladies had a lot to live up to. But as the hosts explained this time around, “This is Hollywood, so if something works, let’s keep doing it till everybody hates it.” And they then proceeded to vanquish, slyly telling nominee Matt Damon that in the star-studded crowd, “You’re basically a garbage person,” declaring Martin Scorsese had won the award for “Tiny man with the biggest glasses” and praising Matthew McConaughey for “Dallas Buyers Club” by noting, “He lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call ‘being in a movie.’” There was also a bit with a perfect, e-cigarette smoking Julia Louis-Dreyfus. But the line of the night was their stinging observation about “Gravity” — “the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” BOOM. Bonus points for their later introduction, “And now, like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Jacqueline Bisset

Winning a supporting nod for “Dancing on the Edge,” a visibly moved – and decidedly rambly – Bisset took her sweet time wandering up to the stage, entered it from the wrong direction, got bleeped out during her speech and staunchly refused to acknowledge the “Get the hell off now” walkout music. “I’m absolutely shaking,” she admitted. But give the woman whom the Globes deemed a promising newcomer nearly 50 years ago – and who’s endured four previous losses since – her due. The legendary sex symbol gave the tip of the night: “To look good, forgive everybody. It’s the best beauty secret.”



Diddy’s advice

How else could one be expected to endure a show that featured so many lengthy speeches and the longest, most excruciating walks to the stage in human history? Whether you were sitting next to Chris Martin at the awards or just popping open a beer at home, Diddy’s suggestion that “Everybody just keep drinking; it’ll be over soon” was perfection.

Incredibly emotional winners

In an epic mass case of The Feels, Jennifer Lawrence admitted, “I don’t know why I’m shaking.” Jon Voight acknowledged, “I’m as nervous as everybody else.” A tearful Amy Adams defiantly declared, “You cannot play me out of talking about my daughter” before thanking her for bringing her joy. Even Amy Poehler exuberantly confessed, after winning for “Parks and Recreation,” “This is so cliché, but I get really nervous.”

Randy

After Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon introduced their daughter as Miss Golden Globe, Tina Fey interrupted them to trot out her “adult son from a previous relationship” – a petulant Amy Poehler, sporting a hairstyle alarmingly similar to Robin Wright and Jennifer Lawrence’s. Randy, sulkily telling his mom that “I hate you; Jacqueline Bisset hates you too,” and hopefully inquiring whether Idris Elba or Harvey Weinstein could be his father, was the breakout newcomer of the evening. Give that kid his own show.

Emma Thompson goes barefoot

“This red? It’s my blood,” the Oscar winner deadpanned as she flaunted her telltale Christian Louboutin soles. A barefoot Thompson then swigged a martini before letting “the voice of God” do the heavy lifting of listing the nominees. Perfection.

That time white people ended racism

OK, maybe not a best moment … It was an evening that was remarkably light on actually giving awards to actors of color – notable shutouts included Kerry Washington, Don Cheadle, Idris Elba, Lupita Nyong’o, Barkhad Abdi and Chiwetel Ejiofor. But Reese Witherspoon got to introduce nominee “12 Years a Slave,” and U2, winning for their song “Ordinary Love” from “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom,” praised Mandela while noting, “It has taken 35 years to write this song.” Gosh, that must have been such a tough 35 years for you guys.

The Woody Allen tribute

Of course he wasn’t there. Of course Twitter briefly exploded with fury over his past. And Diane Keaton quite weirdly got up and sang “Make New Friends.” The last word, however, came from Mia Farrow, who tweeted, “Time to grab some icecream & switch over to #GIRLS.” Farrow out!

Alfonso Cuaron gave WHAT to Sandra Bullock?

The ladies got the best one-liners of the night, but props to the Mexican director, who picked up an award for “Gravity” and joked about his heavy accent by relating the moment he told Sandra Bullock, “I’m going to give you herpes.” He quickly added, “I really meant, ‘Sandra, I’m going to give you an earpiece.’” Yeahhhhh, I’d still wipe it down first.

Matthew McConaughey

Did we know until Sunday night that we’d been waiting over 20 years for McConaughey to make a “Dazed and Confused” reference? The Texan, winning for “Dallas Buyer’s Club,” gave a shoutout to the film that launched his career, quoting his character David Wooderson’s catchphrase as he accepted his award with an “All right all right all right.” And like the night itself, it truly was.

Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub.

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 11
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Beautiful Darkness by Fabien Vehlmann & Kerascoët
    Kerascoët's lovely, delicate pen-and-watercolor art -- all intricate botanicals, big eyes and flowing hair -- gives this fairy story a deceptively pretty finish. You find out quickly, however, that these are the heartless and heedless fairies of folk legend, not the sentimental sprites beloved by the Victorians and Disney fans. A host of tiny hominid creatures must learn to survive in the forest after fleeing their former home -- a little girl who lies dead in the woods. The main character, Aurora, tries to organize the group into a community, but most of her cohort is too capricious, lazy and selfish to participate for long. There's no real moral to this story, which is refreshing in itself, beyond the perpetual lessons that life is hard and you have to be careful whom you trust. Never has ugly truth been given a prettier face.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Climate Changed: A Personal Journey Through the Science by Philippe Squarzoni
    Squarzoni is a French cartoonist who makes nonfiction graphic novels about contemporary issues and politics. While finishing up a book about France under Jacques Chirac, he realized that when it came to environmental policy, he didn't know what he was talking about. "Climate Changed" is the result of his efforts to understand what has been happening to the planet, a striking combination of memoir and data that ruminates on a notoriously elusive, difficult and even imponderable subject. Panels of talking heads dispensing information (or Squarzoni discussing the issues with his partner) are juxtaposed with detailed and meticulous yet lyrical scenes from the author's childhood, the countryside where he takes a holiday and a visit to New York. He uses his own unreachable past as a way to grasp the imminent transformation of the Earth. The result is both enlightening and unexpectedly moving.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Here by Richard McGuire
    A six-page version of this innovative work by a regular contributor to the New Yorker first appeared in RAW magazine 25 years ago. Each two-page spread depicts a single place, sometimes occupied by a corner of a room, over the course of 4 billion years. The oldest image is a blur of pink and purple gases; others depict hazmat-suited explorers from 300 years in the future. Inset images show the changing decor and inhabitants of the house throughout its existence: family photos, quarrels, kids in Halloween costumes, a woman reading a book, a cat walking across the floor. The cumulative effect is serene and ravishing, an intimation of the immensity of time and the wonder embodied in the humblest things.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Kill My Mother by Jules Feiffer
    The legendary Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist delivers his debut graphic novel at 85, a deliriously over-the-top blend of classic movie noir and melodrama that roams from chiaroscuro Bay City to Hollywood to a USO gig in the Pacific theater of World War II. There's a burnt-out drunk of a private eye, but the story is soon commandeered by a multigenerational collection of ferocious women, including a mysterious chanteuse who never speaks, a radio comedy writer who makes a childhood friend the butt of a hit series and a ruthless dame intent on making her whiny coward of a husband into a star. There are disguises, musical numbers and plenty of gunfights, but the drawing is the main attraction. Nobody convey's bodies in motion more thrillingly than Feiffer, whether they're dancing, running or duking it out. The kid has promise.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    The Motherless Oven by Rob Davis
    This is a weird one, but in the nervy surreal way that word-playful novels like "A Clockwork Orange" or "Ulysses" are weird. The main character, a teenage schoolboy named Scarper Lee, lives in a world where it rains knives and people make their own parents, contraptions that can be anything from a tiny figurine stashable in a pocket to biomorphic boiler-like entities that seem to have escaped from Dr. Seuss' nightmares. Their homes are crammed with gadgets they call gods and instead of TV they watch a hulu-hoop-size wheel of repeating images that changes with the day of the week. They also know their own "death day," and Scarper's is coming up fast. Maybe that's why he runs off with the new girl at school, a real troublemaker, and the obscurely dysfunctional Castro, whose mother is a cageful of talking parakeets. A solid towline of teenage angst holds this manically inventive vision together, and proves that some graphic novels can rival the text-only kind at their own game.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    NOBROW 9: It's Oh So Quiet
    For each issue, the anthology magazine put out by this adventurous U.K.-based publisher of independent graphic design, illustration and comics gives 45 artists a four-color palette and a theme. In the ninth issue, the theme is silence, and the results are magnificent and full of surprises. The comics, each told in images only, range from atmospheric to trippy to jokey to melancholy to epic to creepy. But the two-page illustrations are even more powerful, even if it's not always easy to see how they pertain to the overall concept of silence. Well, except perhaps for the fact that so many of them left me utterly dumbstruck with visual delight.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Over Easy by Mimi Pond
    When Pond was a broke art student in the 1970s, she took a job at a neighborhood breakfast spot in Oakland, a place with good food, splendid coffee and an endlessly entertaining crew of short-order cooks, waitresses, dishwashers and regular customers. This graphic memoir, influenced by the work of Pond's friend, Alison Bechdel, captures the funky ethos of the time, when hippies, punks and disco aficionados mingled in a Bay Area at the height of its eccentricity. The staff of the Imperial Cafe were forever swapping wisecracks and hopping in and out of each other's beds, which makes them more or less like every restaurant team in history. There's an intoxicating esprit de corps to a well-run everyday joint like the Imperial Cafe, and never has the delight in being part of it been more winningly portrayed.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    The Shadow Hero by Gene Luen Yang and Sonny Liew
    You don't have to be a superhero fan to be utterly charmed by Yang and Liew's revival of a little-known character created in the 1940s by the cartoonist Chu Hing. This version of the Green Turtle, however, is rich in characterization, comedy and luscious period detail from the Chinatown of "San Incendio" (a ringer for San Francisco). Hank, son of a mild-mannered grocer, would like to follow in his father's footsteps, but his restless mother (the book's best character and drawn with masterful nuance by Liew) has other ideas after her thrilling encounter with a superhero. Yang's story effortlessly folds pathos into humor without stooping to either slapstick or cheap "darkness." This is that rare tribute that far surpasses the thing it celebrates.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Shoplifter by Michael Cho
    Corinna Park, former English major, works, unhappily, in a Toronto advertising agency. When the dissatisfaction of the past five years begins to oppress her, she lets off steam by pilfering magazines from a local convenience store. Cho's moody character study is as much about city life as it is about Corinna. He depicts her falling asleep in front of the TV in her condo, brooding on the subway, roaming the crowded streets after a budding romance goes awry. Like a great short story, this is a simple tale of a young woman figuring out how to get her life back, but if feels as if it contains so much of contemporary existence -- its comforts, its loneliness, its self-deceptions -- suspended in wintery amber.

    Ten spectacular graphic novels from 2014

    Through the Woods by Emily Carroll
    This collection of archetypal horror, fairy and ghost stories, all about young girls, comes lushly decked in Carroll's inky black, snowy white and blood-scarlet art. A young bride hears her predecessor's bones singing from under the floorboards, two friends make the mistake of pretending to summon the spirits of the dead, a family of orphaned siblings disappears one by one into the winter nights. Carroll's color-saturated images can be jagged, ornate and gruesome, but she also knows how to chill with absence, shadows and a single staring eye. Literary readers who cherish the work of Kelly Link or the late Angela Carter's collection, "The Bloody Chamber," will adore the violent beauty on these pages.

  • Recent Slide Shows

Comments

Loading Comments...