Like little stars.
Texas Congressman Steve Stockman is probably best known for being a peerless practitioner of the art of the Twitter troll. But if he’s not careful, he may soon have a new legacy: The guy who ran the worst primary campaign ever.
Granted, Stockman’s challenge to incumbent Sen. John Cornyn never looked like anything more than the longest of long shots. One of the few polls released for the race found him trailing “Big Bad John” by an overwhelming 44 points, and the most noteworthy thing his campaign achieved in its first few weeks was getting called out for deceptively listing — and having to remove — prior endorsements on his website. He didn’t get backing from the activist super PACs he needed. And his campaign finances were, to put it lightly, a total mess.
Yet inauspicious as his campaign’s launch may have been, Stockman’s follow-through has, arguably, been even worse.
According to a report from the Associated Press, Stockman has not only missed 17 straight votes in the House — after missing only about a dozen last year — but can’t be found anywhere on the campaign trail, either. In fact, the only public appearance Stockman’s made as of late was on a House Foreign Affairs Committee sojourn to Egypt. Stockman’s staff, according to the AP, “won’t say where he is” and has ignored “more than six weeks of emails, telephone messages and social media posts” from multiple news organizations.
Put it all together, and take into account the fact that Texas’ primary election date is barely more than two months away, and there’s a case to be made that Stockman 2014 is indeed the genuine article: The worst primary campaign ever. Considering this is Steve Stockman we’re talking about, the question is, could it be any other way?
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.