2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
All-around nice guy Ted Nugent, who is totally not an unhinged racist, joined Denver talk-radio host Peter Boyles on Monday to discuss politics and, especially, how Nugent explains the problems with today’s GOP.
“What happened to the Republican Party?” Boyles asked Nugent.
“Someone extracted their scrotum with a rusty shiv,” was Nugent’s considered reply. “They have no balls. I don’t know where this ‘Let’s be Mr. Rogers with a Lawrence Welk soundtrack tie adjusting’ mantra came from, but my god!”
“If there’s a life-support system attached to the GOP, it’s flat-lining,” he continued.
Nugent wasn’t done there, though. He went on to describe the U.S. media as “basically Joseph Goebbels’ propaganda ministry” and to warn that the country was “being flushed down the toilet, certainly for the last fifteen or twenty years.” (That’s a long time to be being flushed!)
And then he started bleating like a sheep, explaining that that’s how he views the American people.
If you’re in an especially masochistic mood, you can listen to Nugent’s appearance below, via Jason Salzman of BigMedia.org:
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.