Like little stars.
Sex behind a dumpster. That is all it takes to shoot to Internet fame, so long as there are witnesses willing to immortalize the moment on social media. That’s what happened over the weekend to a pair of probably totally sober Saint Patrick’s Day revelers in Delaware. They dropped trou — leaving on their green tees, because public indecency is one thing, a lack of St. Patty’s spirit another — and went at it in full view of iPhone-wielding onlookers. Now they are on HuffPo — and wanted for questioning by local police.
I’ve been on the sex beat long enough to know that this is not a phenomenon isolated to occasions of green beer. People have sex in public, get caught on camera and make national news. These are not your Larry Craigs or George Michaels. These are ordinary-ish people who decide to throw caution to the wind — only for it to fly back and slap them in the face (although, to be honest, plenty of them seem thrilled to be caught). Given my encyclopedic knowledge of such incidents, I bring you a definitive best-of.
Google Street Screw
What a classic. In Australia, Google’s Street View cameras managed to capture what appears to be a beer-swilling couple getting it on alongside the road.
Yankee Stadium home run
A pair of baseball fans got caught going at it in a bathroom stall in Yankee Stadium. It didn’t take long before bystanders noticed the two pairs of feet under the stall door and began filming.
Soccer field shenanigans
What is it about sports that gets people in the mood for public displays of … intercourse? An amorous pair of Danish soccer fans snuck out onto the field to score — but they politely waited until after the game.
Sex on the roof
A student at the University of Southern California was suspended from his fraternity after photos circulated showed him in flagrante on the rooftop of a campus building. The snapshots, taken from the ground, showed the naked frat boy with a young woman bent over the roof’s ledge. As BuzzFeed put it, “From a distance, it must have looked like a very vigorous suicide intervention.”
When you give a realtor the keys to your house, you expect them to sell your house, not have sex it. Client Richard Weiner (I swear) caught former Coldwell Banker realtors on a home security system using his house as their personal love nest. Weiner not only sued but also made the footage public. In case you were wondering, that is how you get your unwitting sex tape on “Inside Edition,” folks.
Sex in uniform
A uniformed New Mexico police officer was caught on camera in broad daylight having sex with a woman on the hood of a car, and it made international headlines. Oh, and that cop? No longer a cop.
Headless mannequin sex
Yep, you read that right. In Brazil, a mall burglar was caught on camera trying to sex up a headless mannequin. As one does.
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.