2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
The “Iraq Pack” is back, as Stephen Colbert euphemistically refers to politicos John Bolton, John McCain, George W. Bush, Paul Wolfowitz and Dick Cheney, who were so very wrong about the Iraq War but feel compelled to speak about it again now. Most appalling, perhaps, was Cheney’s recent Op-Ed in the Wall Street Journal, in which Cheney blamed President Obama for the current insurgent threat. “It takes ‘huevos rancheros’ to blame the outcome of a war you started, on the man who ended it,” said Colbert, motioning testicles. “In fact, I’d say those things he’s swinging could be balls of mass destruction, which means we have no choice but to invade Dick Cheney’s sack!”
“We have got satellite images of this man’s nuts, and he is definItely hiding something down there,” said Colbert, adding, “now for national security reasons, I cannot show them to you.”
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.More Prachi Gupta.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.