"Jennifer Lawrence's body became the body of all women": How I felt when I looked at those hacked celebrity nudes

I clicked, then hated myself for it. Why do so many of us, even women, feel entitled to female bodies online?

Published September 2, 2014 11:00PM (EDT)

Jennifer Lawrence arrives at the Oscars on Sunday, March 2, 2014, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles.  (Photo by Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP)    (Dan Steinberg/invision/ap)
Jennifer Lawrence arrives at the Oscars on Sunday, March 2, 2014, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles. (Photo by Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP) (Dan Steinberg/invision/ap)

I did it. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I did: I searched for the celebrity nudes stolen by a hacker over the weekend. It was an almost unconscious reaction, like pulling away when touching something hot -- only the opposite. There are celebrity nudes? Rush toward them. 

It wasn't sexual; I wasn't looking to get turned on. I just wanted to know. What were these photos? How "bad" were they? As a woman in the world, I am all too aware of the perpetual possibility of being shamed or violated myself. It's hard not to take such newsmaking events -- regardless of whether they happen to a celebrity -- as a warning. Besides, unless I searched for the images, I wouldn't know whether they showed Ariana Grande delicately wrapped in a bed sheet or spinning sequined nipple tassels while juggling baby monkeys. My curiosity and concern, I told myself, shouted down the other voices in my head -- the ones saying that these photos were stolen, that it was a violation of their privacy, that these women were being victim-blamed and slut-shamed for having taken these private photos in the first place. Sisterly solidarity, right? No -- basic humanity.

I did it anywa...

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By Tracy Clark-Flory

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