2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
In a new Funny or Die video, Chloe Grace Moretz stars in ‘Snackpocalypse,’ a (fake) trailer about a “normal healthy girl” who loves carrots in a world obsessed with pizza and chips. In the trailer, Moretz must save her school from its descent into junk food-driven zombie chaos. Only she can do it, because she knows how to shoot a cross-bow into a broken vending machine to fetch an apple while wearing an outfit made 100 percent of dystopian leather.
Ultimately, the video is another plug for Michelle Obama’s healthy eating campaign, and she is featured at the end watching the fake trailer with some girlfriends and snacking on a full-sized carrot (which no one has ever done).
It is charming and will make you crack at least half of a smile. Watch it below.
Joanna Rothkopf is an assistant editor at Salon, focusing on science, health and society. Follow @JoannaRothkopf or email email@example.com.More Joanna Rothkopf.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.