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O F +F I R S T +B R A S , +N E A R - K I S S E S A N D +W H Y +T H E +S I X T H +G R A D E +S U C K S BY CYNTHIA JOYCE | reading Mavis Jukes' endearing new book, "It's a Girl Thing: How to Stay Healthy, Safe and in Charge," is a little like taking a trip down memory lane -- someone else's memory lane, granted, and one not nearly as bumpy as the one that wound through my own adolescence, but still one familiar enough to remind me that growing up female wasn't half as bad as I remember it. Filled with funny personal stories and frank advice on everything from buying your first bra to sexual harassment, "Girl Thing" arms young girls with an arsenal of information without making them feel like there's a war ahead -- and that's no easy task. Jukes, a sixth-grade teacher, fondly recalls that when she was in sixth grade in 1958, she and her mother belonged to an elite organization, the "Ladies' Business Club." Only she and her mother were allowed in this very private club, and it was there that she learned about the mysteries and privileges of being female. My own experience, when I was in sixth grade in 1979, was very different. Women's lib had come and gone, and what little awareness it raised in my conservative Southern community seemed to manifest itself in bitterness more than empowerment. In that climate, growing up female was still a pretty private affair, but it didn't seem like much of a privilege. Most things about growing up female were presented in terms of limitations: You couldn't swim when you had your period, at least not until you figured out how tampons worked -- and that could easily take a whole summer, maybe two. You couldn't eat everything you wanted to because you might get fat. You couldn't act a certain way around boys, because they couldn't be counted on to control their physical urges. Sure, boys had to worry about inopportune erections, but this seemed silly compared to what girls had to go through. Jukes' stories about girlhood -- popping the bra question, her first near-kiss, discovering her brother's "camel mask" (a jock-strap) -- made me marvel at the universality of the experiences that I thought were mine alone. I'm not sure how much has changed since I was in junior high, but certainly not enough to make being an adolescent girl in the '90s easy. To find out, I talked to three 14-year-old girls from San Francisco, all of whom had read and loved "It's a Girl Thing." - - - - - - - - - - NEXT PAGE | A panel of 14-year-old experts.

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