I just became engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. I couldn't be happier, but I have a problem: my father. My father, a former alcoholic, has made me miserable for most of my life. He is unkind and arrogant and thrives on picking fights with me. He owes us over 10 years of unpaid child support but drives a Porsche. My mother (who has supported me my whole life, both financially and emotionally) doesn't want him at the wedding. My fiancé doesn't want him at the wedding. Most of me doesn't want him there, either -- but there is a piece of me that does.

Though I know he and his new adoring wife will only cause tension, I still hope for something different -- the father I wish I had to walk me down the aisle. But the hypocrisy of having my father take credit for anything would make me sick. (When I told him of my engagement, he said he would help pay for the wedding only if it would come out of back child support he owed my mother. This man is a highly successful investment banker who just threw a lavish wedding for himself. I told him I didn't want a cent.)

I don't want his money, but I also don't want the guilt that would come with not having him at my wedding. Is it fair to cause such a rift in our family because I want only peace and joy on my wedding day? I know I should cut him out of my life -- he has only brought me pain -- but telling him I don't want him to attend the wedding would be a large, perhaps final, statement.

I just don't know what to do: hope against hope for him to become a good person, or cut my losses at age 27 and move on? How much should one endure in the name of family?

I am 33 and my boyfriend is 36, and we both have the same goals: marriage, a picket fence, a couple of kids. He is charming and we are extremely attracted to one another. And when he's feeling good, things are very good. But when he's feeling moody or impatient, loud arguments occur. We argue furiously at least once a week, and the arguments are usually from something he has misinterpreted, or petty jealousy. He often says something that is highly insulting, and when I tell him he has hurt my feelings, he blows up. Almost every time we battle, he ends up going home, and we don't talk for a day or two.

We have tried couples therapy, but so far it hasn't worked, because he's not using many of the new communication techniques we learned. We are talking about marriage, but not until we can be together for more than a week without a major blowup over relatively small matters. We want to make it work, but we are both very frustrated. Is there any advice to help us be better friends? Or should I just end the relationship and move on?

After nearly five years my wife says she can't take it anymore. She sees me as immature. I don't completely disagree with her, but there are extenuating circumstances. I don't like to be "controlling," but she does. I have deferred a number of things her way such as managing the money, paying the bills, arranging for day care for our 4-year-old son. I would actually enjoy doing these things, but she is such a control freak that I have backed away to make things easier. She was born to manage. I have never cheated on my wife and have nothing but the deepest of feelings for her and my son. I know she feels the same way, yet she says she can't be around me because I'm too needy. I'm not as needy as she makes it sound, but I have relied on her for a number of things simply to avoid conflict -- every time I would try to make plans or schedule things she would find something "wrong" with my choice. I don't want to be a divorced father, and the thought of my son caught in the middle of a broken marriage is tearing me to pieces. Thanks for your feedback.

Over the last several years I've gradually lost the faith of my childhood (Mormonism) until I have become an unbeliever and rather cynical. My wife remains very devout. In every other way but religion, we remain perfectly compatible and I still love her deeply. We have been married for seven years and have a beautiful little daughter and another child on the way.

The tenets of her faith are so inflexible that an admission of my unbelief would end our marriage. But the prospects of spending the next 40 to 50 years living a lie weighs like an anchor on my heart. I cannot do it. And I can't help believing that in the long run she would be happier with someone who shares this important aspect of her life. Please help me.