She waited. Craig turned a page of the Arts & Leisure section. He didn't respond.

"I know this isn't herpes, but I was wondering if there's anything you want to tell me about." She felt like a character in an ABC Afterschool Special, in the pivotal educational scene: "Claudia the Responsible, Sexually Active Female, confronts her boyfriend about an important issue."

Craig looked down at the newspaper. "What do you want to know?"

"There isn't anyone else, is there?" she asked, still feeling sure there wasn't.

Suddenly she heard some bell go off in her head. Oh, no. Even Craig -- a typical man after all! Give them an inch and they take a mile. "Well, did you -- have you slept with someone else and put me at risk?" she cried, jealous bile rising in her throat.

"Yes," he said. He spoke calmly, but stared at the water droplets around her feet.

How dare he, how dare he put her at risk like that? What if she had herpes? Or AIDS? Or any number of things? She got up and knocked the chair over.

"I never wanted this stupid arrangement to begin with," he muttered, grabbing at her arm. "I just went along."

"Oh, how convenient for you," she sneered. She threw on her clothes as Craig watched her. "Who was she? Do you even know her name? How dare you not use a condom? What if I do have herpes? Who the fuck do you think you are?" Claudia took his house key off her ring and threw it in his direction.

"I don't get you," he said. "Putting you at risk was bad, I know, and I'm sorry. But there's no way you're that angry about me not using a condom."

"Fuck you," she said and left.

She heard the squeak of his window as she ran down South Van Ness toward her car. He was hanging out, yelling. "What the fuck is it with you Claudia? According to your rules, I've done nothing wrong!" he said. Goateed men and long-haired women strolled below, looking up curiously.

"You should have used a condom!"

"Condoms have nothing to do with this and you know it!" Craig yelled back. "You women and your fucking double standard! You're never going to be liberated until you hold yourselves to the same rules as you do us!" He slammed the window shut.

She got in her car, shaking. She wondered how anybody did it. It's a wonder that the human race hadn't died out already. She'd been a commitaphobe her entire dating career and men loved it! And Craig, well, he was just wrong -- she was angry that he hadn't used a condom. That's all. What else could it be?

A double standard -- how ridiculous. OK, maybe women were a little worthier than men, at least they could handle freedom without abusing it. But look what happened with bozo. She gave him her freedom, and look what he did! If this made her a sexist, then so be it.

After all, wasn't that what being a modern woman was all about?

SALON | March 11, 1998