"... You WHAT?!"

(Laughing) "You heard me. I even have a new piece of jewelry here."

"What is it?"

"Well, it's little and round and gold, and it has a hole in it."

"Is it a RING?!"

"What do you think it is?"

"No! You're not serious!"

"I'm serious. It's all over."

"Well ...! I don't know what to say! (Leaning off phone) Stephen! Your daughter's ENGAGED!"

(From far off) "WHAT?!"

"Wait, when?! How did it happen?"

"It just sorta happened. It was all a blur. Suddenly I have this ring on my finger."

"Well, that's how it happens. You're going to have to tell me every single little detail later. I can't believe it. I'm just thrilled for you."

"Yep. It's pretty damn thrilling."

"Cimmie! My God. Do I get to come to the wedding?"

"I don't think so. You'll have to wait in the car outside the church."

"Awful child. Let me talk to him! I want to talk to my future son-in-law!"

"No, I wanna talk to my Dad."

"He's killing bees, he may not be able to ... Stephen! Come talk to your engaged daughter! He's out there inventing something and there's stuff all over him ... here he is ..."

"Hi! Congratulations! Actually, I can't talk to you right now, your mother is holding the phone next to my ear. My hands are covered with yellow jacket pheromone. If I touch the phone with my hands, it'll get swarmed with bees."

"Killing bees, are you?"

"Yes, and this stuff is going to create a sensation with them, so I'd better get it off my hands before they start coming at me."

"Well, OK then."

"But congratulations! I'm very happy for you!"

"Thanks, Dad."

"OK, love you, bye-bye."

"My God, Cimmie, you're going to be a BRIDE."

"Eeeeu, God. Find another word for it, all right?"

"I get to help you buy cakes and dresses!"

"Do me a favor: Don't get all histrionically excited about the whole wedding deal, OK? It's going to be strictly unconventional. I'm thinking of going Royal Indonesian."

"Oh, come on, Mommy gets to have some fun! I get to be MOTHER OF THE BRIDE!"

"I'm serious, don't treat this like it's the junior prom, all right? You'll just scare me off."

"Oh, you're such a pill."
SALON | Nov. 18, 1997

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