Communique

Compulsive scavenging
A new disorder for the downturn.
Rent my leather elbow patches cheap!
The writer's lifestyle is on the block. Plus: The United Unabombers of Benetton.
You give me fever
Watching Reese, Lizzie and the fashion statement bandit. Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Styles from the crypt
You can teach old models new tricks, but don't ask them to protect endangered species.
Diva bites dog
Whitney Houston takes on PETA, McDonald's serves nightcaps and New York Times readers inveigh against shoeless grooms.
Sticky prospects
Suits of armor, duct-tape prom wear, latex gowns and other garments that may be difficult to get into and out of alone.
Top 10 crimes of fashion
Fascism is on the rise, and silliness is being foisted on consumers.
Tarnished glossy editors and a dearth of petticoats
I'll take Anna Wintour's job -- as soon as she finishes her mud-wrestling and cancan binge.
Of pleather goods and wronged blonds
A blond denounces cowhide; another denounces the denouncing of blonds.
Accessories wanted, dead or alive
If you can't acquire a curator, go for the out-of-print coffee-table book.
Heat chic
Stitch-free halter tops, stretch capris and goofy shades blossom in the sun.
Expensively girded for battle
One can now accessorize one's chic military couture with a chastity belt and nipple enhancers.
Go home!
Italian designers hawk prenatal habitats like Mom used to make. Plus: Coffee-stain chic.
All's fair in love and the fashion media
Actresses steal supermodels' lunch! Plus: Naomi Campbell warbles for the masses.
Stupid ideas make good
Girl Scouts go Starbucks. Plus: Put a sock in it.
Microwaved cat or faddish flowers?
You be the judge. Plus: Everybody loves Christian.
Git along little hotties
Designers round up celebrities as they take their new collections to market.
Circle skirts and dirndl underpants
Maybe fashion journalism is best for those who can't read.
Broad-minded tokenism and fried French models
Drunk and ugly fashion hits the runway and it suits us fine.
Fashionably flat-busted
Look for dirty looks, plus a few live sheep.
Nifty frames for bare buttocks Nifty frames for bare buttocks
The retro trend gets tawdry and all eyes are on the crotch.
Skank, neon and French chambre couture Skank, neon and French chambre couture
Ever wonder what Pam Anderson looks like upside down in aviator glasses?

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