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For the love of the game show | page 1, 2
None of these shows, however, have the "Millionaire" secret weapon: The Regis
Factor. The cranky Philbin is truly one of a kind. You can't exactly call him
warm, but he's got a regular-guy, straight-shooting charm that eases the show's
psych-out tension; you can see nervous contestants visibly relax when Philbin
engages them in small talk. But Philbin is also kind of, well, kooky. You never
know WHEN HE'S GOING TO GO OFF! WHY IS HE SHOUTING INTO THE CAMERA? And that
makes Philbin more edgily entertaining than, say, Alex Trebek. Philbin expertly elevates "Millionaire" into his own little party (think Groucho
Marx on "You Bet Your Life"), yet he's professional enough to not upstage the
contestants. After the beleaguered Christensen quit rather than answer that
question about the Earth's atmosphere, Philbin did an extraordinary thing, for a
game show host. He showed Christensen the correct answer (nitrogen), which was not the one
the guy had been leaning toward, and in that exuberant, combustible Philbin way
of his, blurted a consoling, "See? YA DID THE RIGHT THING!" Nope, "Millionaire"
is not about the money.
"Who Wants to Be a Millionaire"
"Greed"
Also Today I wanted to be a millionaire
Joyce Millman Joyce Millman's column appears every other Monday in Salon Arts & Entertainment. That lesson is lost on Fox's "Greed," an ugly "Millionaire" rip-off that debuted on Nov. 4. While "Millionaire" oozes credibility, honesty and even, I swear, class, "Greed" merely oozes. A stench of desperation surrounds the show, and with good reason -- it's Fox's last hope for a hit this disastrous season. As an in-your-face to "Millionaire," "Greed" boasts a top prize of 2 million bucks. In only its second week on the air (Nov. 11), the show fortuitously had its first million-dollar winner -- something "Millionaire" had yet to have -- and the big moment just happened to occur after 9:30 p.m., when "Millionaire" ended on ABC. (According to Nielsen ratings, "Greed" picked up 4.4 million viewers that night in its 9:30 half-hour. Its overall rating for Nov. 11 was upwards of 9 million viewers, which is small compared to "Millionaire," but still more than double the ratings for "Action," which Fox previously aired in that time slot.) "Greed" is the Darth Vader of game shows, unapologetically embracing the dark side. "Do you feel the need for greed?" bellows smirky, cloven-hoofed host Chuck Woolery, and the contestants nod their heads and smile wide-eyed, or pump their fists in the air and mouth, "Yes!" On "Greed," individual contestants with no loyalty to one another are yoked together into a five-person team. The team figuratively climbs the "Tower of Greed" by answering multiple-choice questions about pop culture ("Which company introduced the Walkman?"). At various checkpoints in the game, one teammate is singled out and given the opportunity to betray another for $10,000 ("Do it!" the audience urges); the smaller the team, the bigger each slice of the pie. Last week, a guy with bad '80s rooster hair took the bait and eliminated a very upset female teammate, who asked him plaintively, "Why me?" "I felt the need," he replied coolly. If you're the type who believes in the inherent goodness of your fellow man, "Greed" will cure you of that notion pretty quick. "Greed" is about the money ("smell it, feel it," orders the horned and pointy-tailed Woolery, waving around a thick wad of cash), and, oh, it's not pretty. Instead of geography, science, literature or history, the questions are based on TV shows, pop music, toys, junk food, movies, product brand names, commercials -- in short, stuff. "Greed" doesn't measure what you know, it measures what you consume. It's crappy, cynical, mean-spirited
programming that regards Americans as piggy, brain-shriveled slaves to
advertising, the almighty dollar and crappy, cynical, mean-spirited programming.
Watch "Greed" and, I guarantee, you will be deeply ashamed of yourself, not just
because you've given Fox another precious hour of your life, but because you'll
know the answer to every vacuous question about TV Dinners, dead celebrities and
the names of the candy bars in a bag of Hershey's Miniatures. "Greed" makes you
want to give away all your possessions and enter a monastery.
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