Cliché No. 6: Bartlet, outside, searching his soul in the howling storm. Truly, a King Lear moment.

Cliché No. 7: Before Bartlet goes before the media, press secretary C.J. Cregg drills him over and over to take his first question from the medical writer of the New York Times; it'll be a puffball about his MS, and give him time to get his bearings before taking the inevitable reelection questions. But when Bartlet stands before the press corps (soaking wet from standing out in the rain, and looking like he slept on a park bench), he passes over the Times guy (just like you knew he would) and takes a question from a tougher reporter. Is he running for reelection? Bartlet gazes upon the assembled multitudes for what seems like an eternity before -- you guessed it -- not answering. Yes, the entire finale was a commercial for next season.

I have overlooked the show's soggy tendencies because of the brilliant cast and the pithy insights into the Way Things Work. But after this appallingly predictable and maudlin finale, "The West Wing" drops way down on my best drama list. OK, I know Aaron Sorkin has had his problems lately and I don't mean to make light of them. But I really hope he gets himself clean soon, because, kids, this is what happens to your brain on drugs: It gets lazy.

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The X-Files (May 20, Fox)

Scully's miraculous pregnancy came to fruition after a season intriguingly laced with expectant mother paranoia and messianic overtones. Let me see if I have this straight. Scully's unborn baby was being pursued by two shadowy groups who were at cross-purposes, but both saw the baby as the savior of humankind. In one corner, we had the unkillable superzombie alien replacements for humans, who were slowly taking over the planet. In the other, we had a bunch of government scientists who were secretly working to create a superhuman prototype to resist alien tampering and repopulate Earth.

Agents Doggett and Mulder devised a plan to protect Scully by having spunky Agent Reyes spirit her away to an abandoned Georgia town and help her give birth. A strange light glowed in the heavens -- hey, just like the star of Bethlehem! -- above the empty storefront church where Scully was waiting for the baby to be born. Faith and science, fact and fiction were about to collide. We seemed, finally, on the verge of getting some answers about who, or what, the baby's father is, about what higher (or sinister) purpose Mulder and Scully have been used for all these years.

But then Chris Carter's story ran out of energy. The baby turned out to be ... just an ordinary human baby. In the last scene, Mulder and Scully hold the infant William between them and kiss; although we still haven't been told flat-out, it sure seems like Mulder is the baby's daddy. So, after all the stuff about alien abductions and government conspiracies, this is how "The X-Files" wraps up the Mulder Era: Forget little green men -- love and commitment are the most mysterious and powerful forces we know, and parenthood is the final frontier. What a sweet ending for the series' eighth season!

What a nice sendoff for David Duchovny, who is reportedly not returning next year, and he really means it this time! What lovely closure for the platonic relationship Mulder and Scully have nurtured through the years! What a load of sappy horsecrap! When did "The X-Files" turn into "Mad About You"?

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