Greg Gutfeld is an American writer living in London. He's the former editor of Men's Health, Stuff and Maxim UK, and you can visit him at Dailygut.com. This is his second idea; read about "Afterlife" here.
"Interplanetary Starship Cruisers"
Traveling to faraway galaxies with a relentless urge to have sex with strangers, our three heroes pursue assholes in black holes in a never-ending quest for self-satisfaction. It's the ultimate sexual adventure, where finding an attractive partner is less important than finding one that during sex won't stab you with their proboscis and inject a toxin that melts your flesh. (Unless, of course, that's what you're into. Then the more, the merrier.)
Sir Ian McKellen plays the ship's commander, Venga Karatou, a tough but compassionate leader whose only concern is the safety of his crew and the intensity of his double-grip hand job. Capt. Heath Hamstead is played by the great Kevin Spacey, as the first man ever to walk -- and then lose -- his dog in space. "I find that my unremarkable good looks is a magnet for the ugliest type of alien, which as a gay man, I have little tolerance for," he mutters as he pushes aside his astro-thong for another grimy encounter with what the ship physician later describes as "a space cabbage with amazing adhesive qualities." And then there's the roguish Lt. St. James, (played to the hilt by George Michael), an ecstasy-popping rebel whose nocturnal erotic forays with alien life forms often leave him caked in sticky film.
"The show celebrates the culture of cruising, while marrying it to the excitement of space travel -- a surefire winner," enthuses TV critic Matt Roush. Guest starring Lance Bass as the mysterious "Dr. Fist."
Story finder (3 ways to search Salon)
Salon Directory (browse by topic)
