blue glow
SALON'S TV PICKS FOR
TUESDAY, FEB. 23, 1999
BY JOYCE MILLMAN

S E R I E S

A swim with a horny dolphin results in abject humiliation for Hank on King of the Hill (8 p.m., Fox). Harry's girlfriend (Jan Hooks) wants a baby on 3rd Rock from the Sun (8 p.m., NBC). A spell brings the evil vampire version of Willow (from the alternate-universe Sunnydale) to town on a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer (8 p.m., WB). Also, bad Faith goes over to the dark side. On The PJs (8:30 p.m., Fox), Thurgood's experimental blood pressure medication turns him into a love machine. The Chris Rock-produced sitcom The Hughleys (8:30 p.m., ABC) and Eddie Murphy's "PJs" both share their creators' obsession with "The Jeffersons"; tonight, "The Hughleys" goes one up with guest appearances by Sherman Hemsley and Marla Gibbs. Nova (check local times, PBS) presents "Battle Alert in the Gulf," a close-up look at a U.S. Navy battle group (centered around the aircraft carrier Independence) on patrol in the Persian Gulf. On Felicity (9 p.m., WB), Noel learns that his brother is gay and Felicity's boss asks her to marry him so he can obtain a green card to stay in the country. The department puts Fancy in command of a racially charged and politically sensitive case on NYPD Blue (10 p.m., ABC). BIOrhythm (10:30 p.m., MTV) chronicles the life of President Clinton in pictures and music. Can you think of any songs about girls named Monica?

S P O R T S

Basketball:
Sonics at Rockets (8 p.m., TNT)

T A L K

Rosie O'Donnell (syndicated) Matthew McConaughey, Laura Dern
David Letterman (CBS) Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura
Jay Leno (NBC) John Elway, Judge Judy, Shania Twain
Charlie Rose (PBS) Presidential speechwriter Michael Waldman
Politically Incorrect (ABC) D.L. Hughley, Kelly Hu
Conan O'Brien (NBC) Kevin Nealon

E T C .

The Christian Action Network, the Virginia group demanding that the FCC add an "HC" warning label for "homosexual content" to its TV rating system, is also very concerned about hidden gay messages creeping into TV commercials. In newspaper reports last week, group spokesman Martin Mawyer decried "gay-vague" advertising, commercials that are directed at gays but "the so-called straight community just can't figure it out."

Ah-ha! So that's the problem! The Christian Action Network feels left out of the loop! As a public service, Blue Glow has prepared the following list of gay commercial icons, so all our homophobic friends out there will finally "get it," and will thus know when to clamp their chastity belts shut and wash their children's eyes out with soap.

1. Poppin' Fresh (nelly giggle)
2. The Energizer Bunny (pink)
3. Mr. Clean (earring)
4. Mr. Peanut (foppish)
5. Josephine the Plumber (no explanation necessary)
6. Tweety Bird (effeminate)
7. Any male on a Mentos ad (Eurotrash)
8. The Taco Bell chihuahua (lesbian)
9. Pop (but not Snap or Crackle)
10. The Jolly Green Giant (why do you think he's so jolly?)
SALON | Feb. 23, 1999

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Blue Glow for Monday, Feb. 22