I Like to Watch

Oct. 15, 2006 | "Sometimes you just have to model through it." -- Tyra Banks

Brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors, colleagues and second cousins and ex-boyfriends, take comfort in these fine words from Mother Tyra, for they shall bring you solace in times of trouble.

Now, some may say, "But dishonorable pastor of watching, how do these words apply to me? I am not a model nor even a particularly attractive human being, so how can 'modeling through it' possibly help?"

Understand, little lambs, that any time one is forced to set aside one's aches and pains and insecurities, to muster all of one's strength and face down the uncertainties of life and battle through it all, that is when one can be said to be "modeling through it." Because, as Mother Tyra knows all too well, as much as we all strive to align our minds, our bodies and our souls, to point our entire being toward all that is good and right, there are those times when the mind and the body and the soul will not cooperate. The body says, "I cannot endure!" and the mind says, "I am weak!" and the soul says, "I want one of those malted-crunch shakes from Carl's Jr.! I know it's disgusting and foul. I want one anyway!"

These are the times when Mother Tyra's words will lift us up. We need not be perfectly in step with our deepest beliefs at all times. No. There are times when we must simply model through it.

Talk the talk, catwalk the walk

Be certain of this: It is a wonderful blessing indeed be able to model through it, my friends! I was reminded of this recently when I found myself indifferent to the latest reality TV offerings. In a moment of weakness, I asked myself, "Am I not a preacher of the healing powers of reality TV? Am I not passionate in my loving embrace of the most trivial and base offerings from the most mediocre minds in television? What has become of my passion, of my faith in the worst televised entertainments known to humankind?"

But even as I deleted "Dancing With the Stars" unwatched, even as I was tempted to fast-forward through the part of "America's Next Top Model" where Anchal, the Indian beauty, hears Melrose, the snippy little anorexic perfectionist, bitching about her almost humanlike tendency to eat normal portions of actual food, I didn't lose hope. I set my teeth and continued to watch as Melrose expressed her desire that Anchal might keep eating like a normal human, because that would surely mean that she would never stand a chance of becoming the sort of emptied-out ghost of a human who deserves to totter down runways in overpriced garments. I folded my hands in my lap and watched as Anchal burst into tears and it suddenly became clear that the model house was divided between nasty soulless girls and humans with actual blood in their veins. In the past, I might've hooted and snickered and offered an elaborate analysis to my poor beleaguered husband about which of the girls were reasonably cool and which girls were gross and which girls were just really, really stupid. But instead, I was unmoved.

Still, I modeled through it. I modeled through it heroically.

Heroes are born, not made

And you know what happens when you model through it? The gods reward you with new gifts and passions to replace those that may have faded over the years. As my delight in the treasures of fluffy reality TV has faded somewhat -- OK, I'm still watching "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race" and "Project Runway" without fail -- I have been blessed with a brand-new, budding passion for the drama series.

Now, this is strange indeed because, as we discussed in last week's sermon, many of the most promising new dramas have fizzled, and the scales have fallen from our eyes, and we have seen them for the empty, meandering, amateurish excuses for pulling in big TV salaries that they are. Shows like "Jericho," "Smith" and even "Brothers & Sisters" feel aimless, devoid of real meaning, wanting for interesting characters and provocative stories. These shows are much like a blind man wandering in the desert, one who is not wise nor a prophet at all, but is simply naked and lost and somewhat dehydrated.

But even as many reality staples disappoint and some of these new dramas stumble and fall on their faces, other new dramas are revealing themselves to be quite robust and full of winning parables, indeed, providing nourishment for the hungry TV lover's soul!

NBC's "Heroes" (Mondays at 9 p.m.) turns out to be the big surprise of the fall season for me. Yes, I saw the pilot, and let's just be honest, I thought it was well produced and pretty but ultimately not my kind of thing. Yes, I am not so proud that I cannot humbly admit my weakness to my loyal flock: I don't like superpowers. Now, naturally, I loved "Spider-Man" and I loved Christopher Reeve's turn as Superman -- even those long, cheesy scenes where he flew around with dumb Margot Kidder. Needless to say, I love the force, I'm happy to let it guide my actions, and I believe with all of my heart that luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.

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