YODA: Oh, shut up, you will.

That's right, it's Yoda! Yoda is speaking with us today from his swinging swamp pad in the Dagobah system! Yoda, baby, what's the scene on disco Dagobah?

Scene? There is no scene.

Wow! Cosmic, Yoda baby, lay it on me!

Lay it on you, I cannot.

C'mon, Yoda baby, give it a try!

There is no try. There is only do.

Hear that? Let's do it! It's fab freedom, baby, yeah!

Freedom there is not, until the Force you master.

Wow, heavy, Yoda baby! So, it's like flower power, then?

Power? Eight hundred years old, am I. Fading, are my powers.

Yoda, baby, you need to get out more! Why don't you hyperspace over to swinging London? We'll have a trippy time in Chelsea!

Hmmm. Birds, there will be?

Yeah, baby, free love forever!

Shagging, there will be?

Oh, behave, Yoda!

Lonely, am I. Nothing but droids to shag on Dagobah.

Droids! That's not my bag, baby! Listen, Yoda, you're a little bit freaked out!

Freak? Oddity, I am not. Fine, my light sabre works.

Yoda, baby, didn't Han Solo tell you that hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side?

Easy to talk, it is for him. Carrie Fisher, he is shagging.

Whoa! That'll do it for this session of the Shagadelic Séance! Join us next week, when our guests will be Liam Neeson --

Jedi, he is not. Kilt-wearing wussie, he is --

And everyone's favorite Bad Mother Jedi, Samuel L. Jackson!

Jedi light sabre, when you absolutely, positively, have to kill every mother --

Until then, I'm Austin Powers, reminding you that if they threw a war and nobody showed up, it would be just like Jake Lloyd's acting in "The Phantom Menace"! Peace, love and understanding, baby! Yeah!

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