A L S O_.T O D A Y Blue Glow Southern exposure: Dr. Benton goes to Mississippi on "ER" Trans America By Jennie Yabroff Documentary filmmakers Susan Muska and Greta Olafsdottir talkabout the story behind "The Brandon Teena Story" Musical chairs By Jonathan Cohen R.E.M., Shawn Colvin, Cibo Matto, Philip Glass and others mix itup at the Tibet House benefit concert   Let barnesandnoble.com entertain you -- find hottitles on film, TV and more Search by:  KeywordTitleAuthor     Y E S T E R D A Y Flesh and blood Reviewed by Charles Taylor Kelly Willis' new album, "What I Deserve," is an antidote to theslickness that's ruined country music (02/24/99) Roger and him By Sarah Vowell Remembering Gene Siskel, 1946-1999 (02/24/99)   R E C E N T_. M U S I C Sharps & Flats Reviews of new CDs by Sleater-Kinney, the Meat Puppets, Lone Justice, Lisa Germano and the Jimmy Rogers All-Stars " (02/23/99) Neighborhood girl By David Bowman Suzanne Vega talks about folk music, coveting a cruel streak and her new book, "The Passionate Eye" (02/17/99) Sharps & Flats Reviews of new CDs by Beth Orton, the Del McCoury Band, the Damnations TX and Bad Livers (02/17/99) From Bauhaus to tract house By Sarah Vowell Architect Michael Graves turns his folly to the mass market (02/10/99) Sharps & Flats Reviews of new CDs by Sparklehorse, Adrian Belew and Dolly Parton/EmmylouHarris/Linda Ronstadt, plus the "Rushmore" soundtrack (02/09/99)   BROWSE THE MUSIC ARCHIVES COLUMNS FEATURES REVIEWS INTERVIEWS

Hail, Sony! AMAZINGLY, SOMEHOW, ALL THE TOP SELLERS WON GRAMMYS (BROUGHT TO YOU BY SONY) AGAIN THIS YEAR. BY CINTRA WILSON | Ubiquity! This is what we want from our entertainers: the inability toavoid them no matter what Sony-sponsored medium we pick up to amuse ourselves -- films, books, TV, music, whatever. Shania Twain! Can't wash that chick out ofmy hair! Celine Dion! Hey, that fucking song Will Go On, and is still goingon, on and on, over and over in my head, over and over, like a diamond-eyedrobot rat on a little golden wheel. OK, let's get started. Hey! Rosie O'Donnell! Well, I think herenthusiasms have been flogged to death by overuse. She's been enthusiasticabout a lot of things this year, everything from dried food products to infantappliances to Kmart. She has become the nicest, most pedantic woman inAmerica. Hey! Perfect for awards ceremonies, but maybe, with that big daytimeTV, over-enunciating for the hearing impaired and high school dropouts mouth onher, maybe she'd be better hosting puppet shows or the Special Olympics. MaybeAmerica at night can be spoken to like it's a grown-up, sometimes. I bet kidsunder 7 think her song-jokes are a scream. God love that woman. She's gotpep. Madonna is Japanese now. There were yoga mats all over the floor; she hadironed Susie Wong hair and a plastic kimono and was dragging some kind ofsmarmy Brit around by the nipple when she won for best pop album. Boy, sinceshe took those professional singing lessons for "Evita," she warbles into themike all tremulous and sincere like a real singer and everything. $$$$$! Jennifer Lopez, token Hispanic, was also featuring the flattened hair look,which must be the new überstylist trick in L.A. I still think Lopez needs togo to charm school to learn how to be charming.I guess being Puerto Rican and having a salacious rack is enough for somepeople. Sony sure thinks so! It was great that she was representing the titsand ass of Puerto Rico, so that whenever a person of Latin origin took thestage, the camera could cut to her for a racked-out Latina reaction shot. I'm getting worried about Aerosmith, the only band that has absolutely nowater in its body. Steve Tyler, performing his hit movie theme song from"Armageddon," had traded in his spangled codpiece and spandex tights for awhite suit and two suave cellos. Only the gypsy scarf on his mike stand hintedat his formertransvestite glory. Steve was fairly demure, being the first of theperformers that evening to assume a motionless, spread-legged stancethroughout his performance. For most performers, I'd say this was due tofootwear discomfort, but in Steve Tyler's case, I'm afraid it spellsosteoporosis; I don't want him to break his hip. I liked the sassy "black" dialogue written for Jada Pinkett-Smith by allthose "with-it" 67-year-old white guys who make the cue cards. She said"ain't" two whole times! What raw Negro energy she has, evocative of a youngLena Horne! Perfect for "proud gorgeous black wife" reaction shots. Sony, somultinational -- oops! I mean multicultural. OK, now for the real money. The award for best songwriter went to -- youguessed it! James Horner and Will Jennings, the fat, drunk, pasty-white fuckswho wrote "My Heart Will Go On!" -- the hit movie theme song to the smash moviehit "Titanic!" What winning cynicism. What a top-flight second-guessing ofAmerica's tragic tastes. I'd wager there's more musical movie magic yet tocome from those two rascals. Hoo! Can't Hardly Wait. Around this point, the camera started hovering around the patient, ironedhead of Celine Dion, looking like she was waiting to win the best of breed inthe Westchester Anorexia Cup. I bet she was nervous! We were then treated to a nice lip-and-bass synching to my least favoriterecording artist, Sheryl Crow, who had a new Natalie Imbruglia-cum-EllenDeGeneres haircut and a midriff and klieg lights. She sure sounded like PatBenatar, or maybe Heart, when she sang that hit movie theme song. Amazing howif you listen real close, you can always hear exactly who she is imitatingthat week, i.e. Rickie Lee Jones, Lucinda Williams, etc. N E X T__P A G E .|.It's time to segregate the country music people from the rock people