Kelly, currently wanted for credit-card theft in North Carolina, is having a dark three days of the soul. She can no longer live with herself for being part of the back-stabbing Tagi alliance. She yearns only to follow her heart and cast her banishment vote according to whoever is pissing her off at the moment, not according to Richard's master plan. "I feel like Luke Skywalker," she whines, blaming Richard for pulling her over to "the dark side." Right at the moment we hear Kelly saying those words, we're looking at footage of Richard in a snorkel mask, breathing heavily through his tube at Kelly. "I'm your father," we can almost hear Girth Vader rumble, or maybe that's only the rumbling of the collective Rattana stomachs, because Girth, the fallen Jedi spearfisher, has decided to mess with people's heads by withholding dinner.

There are seven tribe members left and trust is eroding. Richard thinks Susan and Rudy are still "solid" as far as the alliance goes, but wonders about Kelly. He spends much of the episode whispering sweet intimidating nothings like, "You're seeming more down and serious today" in her ear. Richard is correct in doubting Kelly's loyalty; she has come under the spell of Susan, who has a master plan of her own. Susan sees her and Kelly ganging up to boot Richard off when it gets down to the three of them -- and she's confident that it will.

Yeah, yeah, Kelly, your ass is grass if you believe that, we're thinking, but then comes a stunning turn-about from the sneaky Susan. Talking to the omniscient cameraperson, Susan reveals that she's only been pretending to trust Richard, but she trusts Kelly "100 percent." Then she suddenly shows a glimmer of un-Susan-like genuine emotion. "My best friend died 10 years ago this Easter," she says with a short sob. "And it's been so fucking long [since she's had a good friend]. I ain't gonna burn her [Kelly]." Tune in three weeks from now to watch Susan and Kelly, best friends till the end, stealing credit cards and driving a Cadillac into the South China Sea.

Meanwhile, Gervase gets news from home: His girlfriend has just given birth to their second child, a boy. Cigars arrive in the Rattana tree mail pouch. We also learn that Gervase has two other children by a different woman, which sets the ever-diplomatic Rudy grumbling about out of wedlock babies: "In the old days, we'd send the girl out of town." Just when it seems that Rudy is about to fetch his shotgun, Jeff Probst arrives with the reward challenge. The castaways must run a race on a grid of bamboo poles suspended over the ocean. The winner gets a slice of pizza flown in by chopper and the opportunity to call home "on the Ericsson world phone," says Probst, getting in an all-important plug for one of the show's sponsors. Gervase wins and offers his fellow Rattanites each a bite of his pizza. Rudy declines.

In the immunity challenge, the survivors each have to build a fire; Richard scores a much-needed victory. It's clear that Gervase and Colleen were planning to vote Richard off, and trying to court Sean and Kelly to join them. "Watch his arrogance and swagger now, because he's got immunity," complains Gervase from his usual hard-working position in the hammock. In preparation for the tribal council meeting, storm clouds gather on the horizon and Gervase and Colleen decorate their shirts with targets and sitting ducks.

At the tribal council, Jenna returns, looking ready for her close-up, Mr. Hefner, in a ton of girly makeup. She sits silently beside Greg, shooting dagger eyes at Sean, whom she blames for getting her voted off last week. "Susan, is there an alliance?" asks the suave Probst. "America is run on alliances," she answers. "The minute somebody gives money to the president for his campaign, a lobbyist -- that's an alliance." Wait a minute, we thought CBS wasn't covering the Republican Convention tonight! The votes stack up for Gervase: Richard, Susan, Rudy, Kelly and -- abandoning his alphabetical order strategy -- Dr. Sean. Gervase votes for Sean for not realizing there was an alliance ("For a smart guy, he has no brains"), as does Colleen ("He's a putz"). Gervase's flame is doused, putting an end to the Internet rumor that he was the big winner, and ensuring that we will be seeing Richard's fuzzy white belly jiggling in slo-mo for at least another week.

But how will Kelly contend with Girth's persistent mind games, and save herself if he deems her the next to go? Use the force, Kelly! And if that fails, steal his wallet.

(J.M.)

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