Here's why:

Jamie, Josh, George, Curtis and Eddie are TV stars now. Face it. Your denials won't make it go away. How long can we cling to the deluded hope that the spongemen and spongewomen of the "Big Brother" house will get nothingfrom all this?

Not promos, commercials, public service announcements? Not QVC? Not even a D-Snore ad like Doc from "The Love Boat"? Come on!

We'll tell you who's going to get nothing and like it. That's right, suckers! Us!

We've been kidding ourselves. These people aren't going to suffer for what they've done. They're going to be rewarded. And they will continue to plague us for years to come. They will haunt our insomniac nights with infomercials and their psychic friends endorsements, the way Debbie Matenopoulos does on the TV Guide channel after getting chucked off "The View." So what if they have no talent? Who on TV does?

Anyway, we digress. Tuesday night's show begins with the weekly challenge: "In the News or Not?"

Our malcontestants will be given 25 news headlines each day and asked to guess which of them are true and which are false.

Considering how many of the "news headlines" involve "Big Brother," we think it's another (yawn) ploy on the part of CBS to boost lab-rodent morale and keep things lively 'til the bitter, wrenching end. The challenge also yields some interesting answers to questions based on actual news events. It's fascinating to see people disbelieve things we already take for granted. On the other hand, we wonder if most of the houseguests wouldn't be responding in the same way had they been sitting in an Associated Press newsroom this whole time.

True things they thought were false:

"Karen moved to L.A." "One presidential candidate picked a Jewish running mate." "George W. Bush called a reporter an 'a-hole.'" "Nude photos of 'Big Brother' houseguests on Internet."

False things they thought were true:

"Daily Variety: U.S. 'Big Brother' cast most boring to date."

(We have to note here that this is false only in the technical sense that Variety just hasn't gotten around to that particular story yet.)

Question that inspired the liveliest debate:

"Zookeeper suffocated under 200 pounds of elephant dung."

In the next scene, Eddie rolls on the floor with the dog.

Meanwhile, on NBC, the Olympics are on.

We then watch as George whips up a costume for the "Big Brother" recording session. It's a sleeveless T-shirt with "Free Bird" printed on it. On one arm, he paints a "Teresa" tattoo.

The tattoo on his other arm produces what may be "Big Brother's" most poignant moment thus far.

A few weeks ago, George tacked a message to his wife on a wall in the backyard. "Happy Anniverarsy," it read.

He misspelled -- Curtis quickly corrected him -- but it's no big deal. "Anniversary," like "delicatessen," is a big word. Toss in performance anxiety, and a guy with no pretensions to, say, the vice presidency is allowed to misspell something.

The word George misspelled on his left bicep, however, is smaller than "anniversary." It's smaller than "television."

It's also smaller than "George," "house," "cat" and "dog."

It's smaller than "the" and "and."

On his left arm, George writes:

"U.S.S. Big Brother," and, above it, "AM."

Jamie, after "wowing" her supportive approval, asks, "What does that say?"

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