Brittany ranted on about tiny social infractions with a memory of alarming clarity. In the meantime, Cassandra seemed to be taking a nice quiet nap.

But then, she was attacked!

"I felt betrayed by Cassandra," Brittany declared. "When we had to write down on a slip of paper what we felt about people, she wrote that she felt Curtis was the most dishonest? But later when he asked her if she said that, she told him she didn't say that."

The majestic Cassandra did a wonderful stunned, slow burn that drew a hearty laugh from the audience. Brittany didn't seem to notice.

"I mean, people watched everything you did," she rambled hypnotically. "A cameraman said to me afterward, 'You're a crumpler'? And I didn't know what he meant, but he meant some people folded their toilet paper and others crumpled it? Jamie was a folder, he said."

This image of finicky Jamie precisely folding her T.P. was mercifully interrupted by the intermission.

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For 20 minutes, we had the chance to mingle with the celebrities who only moments before had captivated us onstage. Cameras in tow, my friends and I got pictures with gracious Curtis and Eddie, Cassandra and George, and even a surprisingly courteous Mega. But Brittany drew an impenetrable crowd by talking excitedly about herself.

"I was at Vinyl dancing with Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears? Like this?" she said excitedly.

She graced the assembled crowd with a grotesque dance move.

"Say, what did you think about her security people?" a large man asked slowly.

"What?" said Brittany.

I recognized the man. He was the guy in the front row who'd been asking after Jordan. "Britney's security people. You know. Adam, Lloyd?"

"They were OK," she said, momentarily alarmed. As she turned the conversation back to herself, my friends took turns standing behind Brittany, posing for the camera in such a way that it might seem she was posing with us.

For some reason, a photo with Brittany seemed a prize.

The second half, largely a question-and-answer period, was a dud. The highlight was a fax from Jamie, which began, "Due to my busy filming schedule, I can't be with you this evening."

I went to the microphone and tried to get the housemates to dish about their real feelings for Julie Chen, but they were too darned gracious. Even Brittany demurred, saying, "I told the producers I should be hosting the next season. They were like, 'Oh, Brittany.'"

Oh, Brittany.

Someone asked, "Do you watch the tapes of the show?"

"No way," said Cassandra. "I wanted to leave the house behind. Once I was out, I was out."

"I watched every video. I asked everyone about it? I was really crazy about it?" countered Brittany. "The main lesson I learned from watching myself was -- "

The room held its breath.

" -- it helped me to like me more."

"New York is named after the Duke of York, who was a slave trader," Mega explained in the final thought of the evening.

I can't remember what, if anything, brought that up.

"And Pennsylvania? William Penn. Same thing."

"I'd like to thank everyone for coming," intoned the moderator.

The pictures turned out great!

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