CW
But speaking of reckless decisions, CW axed "Veronica Mars" even though plenty of us were anxious to see Veronica join the FBI, knowing that creator Rob Thomas could have a great time with that setting. Does it really make sense that "OC" creator Josh Schwartz has two pilots that were picked up, while Thomas has nothing but time on his hands? As long as everyone's in love with geeks, Thomas should start churning out some new pilots; the powers that be should have more faith in his ability to keep a show lively and interesting than they do in Schwartz's.
CW also picked up "Reaper," a show about a slacker who does the devil's dirty work, directed by Kevin Smith of "Clerks" fame; "Aliens in America," about a Pakistani exchange student in Wisconsin; and "Life Is Wild," about a dad who relocates his teenagers after their mom dies (see also: "Everwood").
"America's Next Top Model" is also back, presumably so Tyra Banks can trade in her elaborate Vegas-style costumes and makeup and instead appear as a floating, menacing disembodied head, flanked by flames shooting into the sky -- think "The Wizard of Oz" meets RuPaul meets Xerxes in "300."
Fox
Finally, Fox, the Network That Panders to Our Basest Urges: It's a good thing that Fox has "American Idol," really, because unlike, say, NBC and ABC, Fox tends to choose pilots that suck mightily. Aside from notable exceptions "Arrested Development" and "24," Fox has a real way of picking up unreasonably shitty pilots. The recent abject failure "Drive," just for example, was one of the most ridiculous, unbelievable dramas I've seen in years, like a really, really bad episode of "CHiPs."
That said, though, Fox does send me some great schwag. I'm willing to watch any DVD that comes enveloped in a giant receptacle of chocolate pudding or wrapped in a basket of mini-muffins or tucked into a pile of prettily designed promotional T-shirts and whimsical toys.
In truth, Fox's lineup for next season looks pretty interesting: There's "K-Ville" a post-Katrina New Orleans cop show; "The Sarah Connor Chronicles," an intriguing sci-fi series based on "Terminator 2"; and "The Rules of Starting Over," a comedy about a dating game for older people.
But the show that looks really promising -- alarmingly so, in fact -- is "The Return of Jezebel James," a comedy slated for midseason. The show is written by (gasp) Amy Sherman-Palladino and her husband, Dan Palladino, of "Gilmore Girls" fame, and it's about a children's book editor, Sarah, played by (gasp) Parker Posey, who discovers she's infertile, so she asks her sister Coco, played by (gasp) Lauren Ambrose, to have her baby. Yes, you heard me right: The talent behind "Gilmore Girls," embodied by comedic charmer Parker Posey and lovable Lauren Ambrose. This is already my favorite new show, and I haven't even seen it yet.
Fates collide
So let's review what's in store for us next season: Lots of girly stuff, lots of soaps, lots of humans with superpowers and vampires and time travelers, lots of nerds, and a whole slew of ensemble casts. It all sounds great to me -- but then, it always does, until I'm sitting there, watching one crappy pilot after the next. That said, though, the TV industry is obviously attracting an obscene amount of writing, directing and acting talent right now, so it stands to reason that many of these shows will be impressive.
In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that it's a very fine time to be a TV critic. But you might want to check back with me on that in a few months, when "Ass Monkey" and "Robot Smackdown" have already been canceled, and the networks have had to replace them with "Dingleberry Hound," "Gabardine Lynch Mob" and "The Back-Fat Brigade."
Next week: "Sopranos" recap on Monday, "Heroes" and "24" recaps on Tuesday, and way, way too much more!
About the writer
Heather Havrilesky is Salon's TV critic. She also maintains the rabbit blog. You can find more of her columns in the I Like To Watch directory.
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