Demeaning of life
And you know what that leaves us with? A middle-aged man, sitting on a stage in front of his girlfriend, his boss and a hooting audience, as a game show hosts asks him if he's a member of the Hair Club for Men. (He is, he admits with a groan. His girlfriend looks mortified, but reassures him, "You look great, baby.")
You see, America doesn't just crave the spandex-clad mutants of "American Gladiators" and the extended celebrity infomercial of "Celebrity Apprentice." No. America also wants to see ordinary people, demeaning themselves for big money.
That's why Mark L. Wahlberg, the former host of such moving shows as "Temptation Island," is sitting on a brightly lit stage in a gray suit, firing off increasingly personal and embarrassing questions while Hair Club Member George winces and grins nervously and prays that his dignity is somehow spared on this very fast road to half a million dollars.
Well, for the viewers at home, it's sort of a slow road, actually. Every time Wahlberg asks a question, each contestant is forced to wait about 5-8 seconds until he answers, in order to build suspense, and then the announcer waits 15 seconds before she'll say whether an answer is true or false according to the contestant's previous polygraph test. That might not sound very long, but trust me, that's a lot of dead air. Add up all those pauses and throw in one horror-movie chord after another, and Fox's "Moment of Truth" (Wednesdays at 9 p.m.) starts to feel more like "Hour of Truth" or even "Long, Dark Night of the Truth."
And what are you waiting for? You're waiting to see each contestant's dignity get shattered to bits before your eyes, which is far less entertaining than it sounds. When Ty, a personal trainer, is asked about his wife, "Do you think you've delayed having children because you're not sure if Catia will be your lifelong partner?" how can you feel anything but uncomfortable when Ty answers yes? Plus, plenty of the questions seem custom-made to create blips on the polygraph. Wahlberg asks Ty, who's a personal trainer, if he's touched a female client more than was "required of him. Ty says he hasn't, but his polygraph test apparently read that as a lie, because a huge red "FALSE" flashes on the screen behind him, and the audience groans.
Ty tries to explain, "Well, you know, when you're training people, you've got to physically touch them, but you know, what's required..." What he's trying to say is, it's not easy to tell if you're interpreting that question correctly when you answer it, and that kind of uncertainty could very easily lead to a false positive.
But Wahlberg cuts him off before he can go into it, ushering him off the stage to the less-than-welcoming arms of his angry wife. Forget the fact that we've doomed their marriage, though, we've got more lives to ruin before we sleep! Time for our next guinea pig!
Immediately the next guy, George, is revealing huge secrets: Have you ever considered you might be addicted to gambling? (Yes, he has.) Do you have a bank account that your girlfriend doesn't know about? (No, he doesn't.)
But here's a serious cringe-inducer: "Have you ever padded your underwear to look more well endowed?" (Yes, he has.) Ugh. Why would we want to know that?
Just as we're all starting to feel dirty and disgusting deep down inside, we're out of time, so they cut to highlights from next week's show, where George is being asked more awful questions:
"Have you ever helped someone smuggle something into the country?"
"Are you in love with your girlfriend, Lily?"
Finally, we see his teenage kid come out onto the stage to ask him the biggest corker of all: "Have you ever gambled away one of your children's college funds?"
Although some might argue that this show is performing a public service by shaming the shameless, to me it looks more like the blatant exploitation of those who a) need the money and b) can't help viewing an appearance on a game show as fun and silly and harmless, when in fact it could seriously screw with their lives and their reputations indefinitely.
But more important, is America really this sadistic, or has Fox crafted a solid business plan from pandering to our worst impulses? While each person's "individual spontaneity is entitled to free exercise," as John Stuart Mill argues, don't human beings also "owe to each other help to distinguish the better from the worse, and encouragement to choose the former and avoid the latter"?
Perhaps some input from our readers will help to clarify some of these vital controversies that have plagued humankind for so long.
To ILTW:
I was wondering if you might know who made Oprah Winfrey's butter-yellow couch. It is the couch that you mentioned in an online article that Tom Cruise was jumping on.
I believe it is by Ralph Lauren, but am unsure.
Thank you,
Linda McMacken
Au Gres, Mich.
Alas, Linda, you've posited a question as vast and unknowable as the universe itself, and I am a mere mortal whose limited mind can only strain to approach such an enormous and pressing inquiry, the likes of which humankind has wrangled with since the ancient times! Even so, I'll redouble my efforts to meditate on these and other very momentous and critical mysteries moving forward.
Next week: Who's the hottest himbo on Bravo's "Make Me a Supermodel"?
About the writer
Heather Havrilesky is Salon's TV critic. She also maintains the rabbit blog. You can find more of her columns in the I Like To Watch directory.
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