A L S O_.T O D A Y Blue Glow "Melrose Place": Jane and Michael get a holiday surprise; encore for "Buffy" Xmas episode   Y E S T E R D A Y "You've Got Mail" Reviewed by Laura Miller Nora Ephron's update of "The Shop Around the Corner" rails against corporate chain stores to predictably bland effect (12/18/98) "The General" Reviewed by Charles Taylor With a mixture of humor and brutality, John Boorman's extraordinary film paints a dark portrait of Irish outlaw Martin Cahill (12/18/98) "The Prince of Egypt" Reviewed by Charles Taylor A kitschy cartoon epic that's not for kids -- or adults (12/18/98)   R E C E N T_. T E L E V I S I O N Fu fighter By Joyce Millman Hong Kong action film vet Sammo Hung kicks some life into prime time in "Martial Law" (12/07/98) Heart of "Blue" By Joyce Millman Can the best cop show on television survive without Jimmy Smits? (11/23/98) Dancing with the Television On By Joyce Millman Forget MTV -- Beck, Elvis Costello, Sugar Ray and the Dylans find their place on TV soundtracks (11/09/98) Praise the Lord and pass the remote By Joyce Millman Christian values collide with big money on Fox Family Channel and PAX TV (10/26/98) The kids are alright By Joyce Millman Teen spirit: TV's wise kids and puerile adults (10/12/98)   BROWSE THE TV ARCHIVES COLUMNS FEATURES       S A L O N E M P O R I U M FREE! 12-ounce bag of Salon Blend with a purchase of $30 or more. While supplies last.

TV 1998 | PAGE 1, 2 - - - - - - - - - - "Felicity" (WB) She's the new TV girl you love to hate, a determined, introspective college freshman whose incessant meddling into the life of the boy she adores would be met with legal action in the real world. So why am I hooked? I'm waiting for the episode where she gets slapped with a restraining order. "Martial Law" (CBS) A guilty pleasure kung fu action comedy featuring the jumbo-sized chop-socky star Sammo Hung. As a Shanghai cop trying to make sense of Los Angeles, Hung's English may not be great, but his fleet moves and wide-eyed expression need no translation. Heck, they don't even need sound. "The King of Queens" (CBS) What you get when you cross the prickly family dynamics of "Raymond" with a Seinfeldian sense of situations spiraling out of control. This was the best new sitcom of the year. "Cupid" (ABC) A strange, unsentimental romantic comedy-drama that features a knockout performance from Jeremy Piven as an irresistible bastard who may or may not be the Roman god of love. And, yes, that is Chrissie Hynde, goddess of bruised romantics everywhere, singing the theme song. "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" (ABC) Proof that inexpensive programming doesn't have to be cheap. "The Practice" (ABC) I've watched only sporadically this season, so this pick is more of a good faith offering -- I promise to tune in regularly from now on. The ensemble cast is a dream, the female characters are complex and earthbound, the portrayals of legal and ethical dilemmas (usually) manage to avoid heavy-handedness. And as for the relationship stuff, there isn't a fantasy sequence or dancing baby in sight. I don't know how to explain this aberration in light of the awful, showboating preciousness of David E. Kelley's other work -- "Picket Fences," "Chicago Hope" and "Ally McBeal" -- except to say that whatever medication he's on when he's writing it is working. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Now, for a few highs and lows of 1998: Biggest Letdown: The "Seinfeld" finale. A flat, overblown, over-hyped misfire without a single big laugh and a weirdly scolding jailhouse ending that was all WRONG. We loved "Seinfeld" precisely because Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer were jerks. We reveled vicariously in their jerkdom. And it wasn't as if they ever got away with anything; in every episode, their lies and schemes would backfire and they would pay. To end the series with them in the slammer (or was that supposed to be an existential prison of their own making?) as punishment for their selfish deeds was too, oh, I don't know -- Ken Starr. Postscript: As possible atonement for the uncharacteristic moralism of the finale, Jerry Seinfeld has taken to running around New York City brazenly stealing other men's wives. Freefall of the Year: NBC. Is it possible for a network with Nielsen toppers "ER," "Friends" and "Frasier" to be characterized as "having a bad year"? Yes. "Seinfeld" closes up shop; in a panic, NBC execs shell out way too much money to lock Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser in for another season of "Mad About You" -- and then nobody watches it. "Frasier" gets the old "Seinfeld" slot, which should have gone to the flashier "Friends," and what happens? "Frasier" chokes, turning out some of its lamest, soggiest episodes ever. On Thursday nights, the ever-more-horrendous "Veronica's Closet" drives viewers away at 9:30, which may be one of the reasons why viewership for "ER" is down. As for NBC's fall series, John Wells ("ER") and the "Frasier" team deliver two of the biggest flops of the season, the nighttime soap "Trinity" and Nathan Lane's "Encore! Encore!" And one of the network's prestige dramas, "Homicide: Life on the Street," loses its most dynamic cast member (Emmy winner Andre Braugher) and is having a dog of a season. On the plus side: After this year, no more "Mad About You"! Success Story of the Year: The WB. Total viewership for the established broadcast networks was down this year and the Dubba-Dubba was part of the reason why. Its niche programming for those all-important 18- to 34-year-olds has yielded TV's only true cultural-happening hits -- "Buffy," "Dawson's Creek" and "Felicity." And Aaron Spelling's family drama "7th Heaven," the most watched show on the WB, has, on more than one occasion, come in third in its time slot, beating the competition on NBC and Fox. Is it any wonder that NBC has just hired away WB's entertainment president? Trend of the Year: Talking animals. The Taco Bell Chihuahua. ESPN's poker-playing dogs. Sabrina the Teenage Witch's droll black cat, Salem. The miserable dog Rags on "Spin City" (whose morbid thoughts have been voiced by David Letterman and Tim Allen). I guess they all tap into that old desire to know what's inside your pet's head. Hey, here's an idea -- fire all of those inside-the-Beltway talking heads and replace them with talking animals! I for one would love to hear the poker-playing dogs' thoughts on impeachment. Especially the collie's. He's been strangely silent for too long. They Never Let Us Down: "The Simpsons"; "TV Fun House" ("Saturday Night Live"); the so-dorky-it's-cool "7th Heaven"; Jerry Stiller ("King of Queens"); "The Larry Sanders Show"; David Letterman; Chef; "King of the Hill"; the great ensemble cast of "ER"; Roseanne on her messy, but kick-ass, new daytime talk show; syndicated reruns of "Seinfeld"; Conan O'Brien; Nickelodeon's "Angry Beavers"; Phil Hartman (R.I.P.). The Worst Shows of the Year "Fantasy Island" (ABC); "The Guinness Book of World Records" (Fox); "Working" (NBC); "Fox Files" (Fox); "Veronica's Closet" (NBC); "Caroline in the City" (NBC); "Encore! Encore!" (NBC); "Costello" (Fox); "The O'Reilly Factor" (Fox News); "The Howard Stern Radio Show" (CBS). SALON | Dec. 21, 1998