Frack that daggit!
After a full week of saucer-eyed Jenny and her jaunts to never-never land, I wanted to crawl into the warm embrace of something old and familiar, like a pint of cookie dough ice cream and the two-hour premiere of "Dancing With the Stars." But did I do that?
Well, yes, I did do that, but first I caught up with the second season of "Battlestar Galactica," and frack, it was good!
Like many others before me, I assumed that "Battlestar Galactica" (10 p.m. EST Fridays on the SciFi Channel) was just another space show meant for science fiction buffs and people who loved the '70s version of the show. Like many others, when I was a kid, I considered "Battlestar Galactica" a cheap knockoff of "Star Wars," which I loved. I felt very strongly that Lorne Greene belonged on a ranch with Little Joe, not in outer space. I didn't like the kid, Boxy, and his stupid robotic dog, Muffit. I liked the Cylons, but they were too big and dumb and slow to be all that scary.
What's strange is that, even when people told me, very directly, that the new "Battlestar Galactica" was a really smart, character-driven drama that just happened to be set in space, I didn't believe them. That's how insidious the layers and layers of crappy space-show buildup can be. Even though I heard "dark" and "smart" and "unpredictable," all I could picture was Captain Kirk in a toga.
It's all been said before, but I'll say it again: "Battlestar Galactica" is much, much better than you can possibly imagine. The battle scenes are claustrophobic and paranoia-inducing, with the enemy always hidden from view but omnipresent in the imagination, thanks to closely framed, hand-held shots. The power struggles are complicated and nuanced like the ones you find on "The Sopranos." The soundtrack is odd and moody and completely unique as far as TV soundtracks go. The stakes are always high, and there's an incredible amount of action in each episode -- you never feel like the characters are just spinning their wheels, or the situations are repeating themselves, as you do with so many other dramas. The show takes a deeply ambivalent approach to religion: The Cylons attack in the name of their god, which makes them a little bit like fundamentalist Christians or Islamic extremists, but the president of the humans also embraces some pretty odd beliefs and so-called ancient prophecies.
What's most remarkable about "Battlestar Galactica" is that it's populated by distraught, fallible characters who fumble around in the dark and make big mistakes, but never lose our sympathies. Many of them aren't likable or even easy to understand, but we're offered some way of seeing the world through their eyes. For example, Col. Tigh (Michael Hogan), Commander Adama's (Edward James Olmos) right-hand man, may be the least likable character of all, but his indiscretions are balanced by his confusion and uncertainty about his decisions. During the second season, he kept going back to the bedside of an unconscious and ailing Adama, telling the captain over and over again how badly he was screwing up. As soon as Adama was conscious, Tigh told him he wouldn't believe the mess he left for him. When do you see a captain of any kind, let alone a captain on a show about outer space, behave this way? You think you're watching for the tough-girl hero Starbuck or for the battle scenes, and suddenly you're heartbroken over the plight of this poor old jackass.
Friday night, the breathtaking return of the series certainly didn't disappoint. (Spoiler alert: If you missed Friday's episode, "Resurrection Ship," skip the next two paragraphs.) Admiral Cain (Michelle Forbes) and Commander Adama continued their bone-chilling stand-off, with Cain sharp-tongued and scary enough to make you stand up and boo loudly - while secretly cheering on the best frackin' female villain in recent memory. Of course, this show has so many strong female characters in it, where do you begin? Roslin, Starbuck, Number Six, Boomer... And unlike network TV's lead females, who so often veer into the realm of fragility and Teri Garr "Forget your job and come to bed, honey" moments, these characters - particularly Roslin and Starbuck - are presented as just as confident and as flawed in interesting ways (Take note, "Commander in Chief") as their male counterparts.
There are plenty of chances for those flaws to come to the surface, too, with so much on the line for the colonial fleet. I mean, sweet Jesus, how many jolting scenes were there in this episode? Adama personally apologizing to Boomer for the horrifying rape attempt by Lt. Thorne, President Roslin (Mary McDonnell) telling Adama that Cain needs to go, Number Six (Tricia Helfer) of Pegasus telling Baltar (James Callis) she wants to die? This show is so fracking intense it makes me want to take a Raptor out for a spin through an asteroid belt - or at least drive that El Camino through the mud until it overheats. Frackin' A! With such insanely high stakes and so many fast-moving storylines, "Battlestar Galactica" may just be the anti-"Lost."
Hilariously enough, "Battlestar Galactica" has in spades what "The L Word" is missing. While "The L Word" advertises itself as a character-driven drama packed with strong female leads and big ideas ("This is the way that we live and love!" the credits so memorably screech), "Battlestar" offers far more complex and satisfying characters, and more situations in which the true nature of these characters -- their internal conflicts, their worldviews, their hopes and doubts -- is revealed.
Quiz!
1. The main point of this column is that:
a) You can't judge a community by its debilitating habits.
b) You can't judge a TV show by its genre.
c) You can't judge a remake of a lame '70s-era show by the alienated, angry fans of that lame '70s-era show.
d) You can't borrow your cousin's El Camino if you brought it back muddy the last time.
e) All of the above.
Answer Key: 1. b
Next week: Would you rather dance or ice skate with the stars?
About the writer
Heather Havrilesky is Salon's TV critic. She also maintains the rabbit blog.
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