Isn't it rich?
Speaking of deflated concepts, FX has yet another flashy but mediocre show on its schedule for the spring. Yes, this is the home of the entertaining manly manfest "Rescue Me," the reasonably funny slacker escapade "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," the eye-opening doc series "30 Days" and, of course, the always-brilliant evil-cop-tastic thriller "The Shield."
Unfortunately, FX has developed a taste for shows that look good on paper but ultimately range from empty to downright insipid. The quintessential example of this is "Nip/Tuck," a seedy, fantastical melodrama that's so frustratingly stupid and bad, it hurts to watch even a minute of its shallow, unlikable characters, its gratuitous nastiness and its pointless plot twists. A less egregiously awful example is "Thief," the dark tale of a career criminal (played by Andre Braugher) that looked smart and promising enough at first, but then went nowhere, with flat, selfish characters and stories that left little to the imagination. Next came "Dirt," starring Courteney Cox as the editor of a tabloid, another show that looks pretty on your TV screen, but suffers from shallow stories and painfully bad dialogue.
FX's latest travesty is "The Riches" (premieres 10 p.m. March 12). My guess is that lots of people are going to rave about how deliciously dark and weird this drama is, but before you believe them, take a minute and imagine Minnie Driver with a fake Southern accent. Now imagine Eddie Izzard with an American accent that's so bad, it makes his voice sound almost computerized. Next, throw in some demonic rednecks straight out of "Deliverance." Are you getting hot yet?
Our story begins when Wayne Malloy (Izzard) and his three kids decide to rip off a bunch of hapless fools at a high school reunion. Forget that everyone at a reunion just sits around looking at everyone else, making it impossible to rip off wallets -- we're suspending our disbelief, remember? After the family absconds with a bag full of wallets (Yeeeehaw!), they pile into their Winnebago (uh-oh) and rush off to pick up Wayne's wife, Dahlia (Minnie Driver), from jail, where she's presumably being held for engaging in a fun family crime like the one we just witnessed. Although Dahlia has reached the end of her two years in the slammer, she's in a crappy mood, plus, she's seems to be addicted to cough syrup. How kooky!
Next thing you know, Wayne and Dahlia are meeting up with a big clan of gypsy hayseeds, each with his or her own trailer or camper van. As if spending your life wandering around eating Hostess fruit pies at truck stops isn't bad enough, we find out that Wayne and Dahlia's daughter Di Di (Shannon Woodward) is supposed to marry a cartoonishly dimwitted country boy -- some kind of a sick agreement between the families -- but Wayne is against the marriage. The leader of the families, Dale (Todd Stashwick), gets threatening and ugly, insisting that the marriage must happen.
Now, I don't want to give the whole plot away, in case bad Southern accents and unrealistic stories about evil redneck gypsies turn you on. Suffice it to say that things take an even darker turn, then Wayne and Dahlia stumble on an opportunity to live the American dream -- big house, great job, golf at the club, etc. -- simply by lying through their teeth, something they're obviously pretty good at.
It's not a terrible premise, but once again, none of the characters here are interesting or fully imagined, so it's impossible to get into the story. This series feels a lot like "Dirt," actually -- provocative and weird on the outside, deeply stupid on the inside. Apparently producers and writers are getting really good at copying the look and feel of HBO shows, but they don't have the brains or originality to back it up.
I'd love to be wrong about this one, but so far, I can't get past the long, meandering scenes that aren't amusing or all that clever. Oh yeah, and the accents, accents that are bad enough to make you want to pound your head into the wall. Honestly, who thought it was a good idea to make a show about country criminals starring two Brits? Someone was high on cough syrup when they came up with that one.
But remember when there was just one lunatic in your town who covered his front yard in a sea of lights at Christmastime, and you would drive several miles out of your way each year just to gawk at the big, gawdy spectacle? These days, every other house is covered in thousands of lights and automated deer and inflatable snowmen and Nativity scenes. As Americans, we're genetically susceptible to hype. Thanks to a dangerous weakness in our cultural immune system, we fall prey to every half-assed trend and pop-cultural virus we come into contact with. Whether it's an interminable awards show or yet another dark comedy about zany losers, we're ready to smile and wave at anything that reminds us ever-so-slightly of something else that was good once, but isn't anymore. God bless America!
About the writer
Heather Havrilesky is Salon's TV critic. She also maintains the rabbit blog. You can find more of her columns in the I Like To Watch directory.
Story finder (3 ways to search Salon)
Salon Directory (browse by topic)