The longest day ever

Jack bags the bad guys and the bombs early, leaving a few extra hours to sacrifice national security for his lady love. Quick, somebody turn back the clock!

By Heather Havrilesky

Read more: TV, FOX, Arts & Entertainment, Reviews, Heather Havrilesky, 24

Photos: Fox Broadcasting Co.

Kiefer Sutherland

April 17, 2007 | Jack Bauer will do anything for the sake of national security. He'll risk his life, disappear, shoot his co-worker (Curtis or Chappelle, take your pick), kill an innocent bystander or two, become addicted to drugs, alienate his daughter, start a prison riot, break into an embassy, kill a man by chomping down on his jugular, and spend two years being tortured in a Chinese prison. Jack will gladly choke, intimidate and torture anyone, from a co-worker to his own brother to his ex-girlfriend, Audrey Raines, if he's convinced that's what's necessary to keep the American people safe.

Or at least, that was the old Jack Bauer. On Monday night's episode of "24" (9 p.m. on Fox), that man was replaced by a stunningly lifelike replica who was willing to sell national security up the river by stealing bomb components and giving them to the Chinese, just to ensure the safety of Audrey.

Now, granted, this is one of the big risks of a plot-driven, suspense-centered serial drama like "24" -- compromises are sometimes necessary to keep the story hurtling forward at a breakneck speed. Over the course of six seasons, we've seen almost every other character on the show take risks to save their hides or the hides of loved ones: Tony, Michelle, Kim, even David Palmer were shown turning away from their most fiercely guarded ideals in the face of ungodly amounts of pressure and high personal stakes. And yes, Jack assures everyone that his real plan is to commit suicide, thereby destroying Audrey's captor, Cheng, the components and himself in one big, efficient blaze of gory glory. Even so, the old Jack wouldn't have even considered such a dangerous plan -- never! As often as everything around Jack shifted to serve the full-throttle speed of the plot, we knew that we could count on him to be the one constant on this sometimes kitschy, sometimes unrealistic, sometimes downright foolish nail-biter of a show.

That's why Monday night's "24" was so jarring. But the episode didn't just compromise Jack's integrity as a character; it threw the entire premise of the show out the window. Season after season, Jack Bauer and the other CTU agents are faced with a crisis that they're forced to solve in the course of one very bad day. Sure, there are subplots and subcrises and twists and turns along the way, but the main challenges facing Jack aren't conquered until the end of the season.

In this sixth season, not only is the main story a little weak -- a nuclear bomb levels Valencia, and all we see of it is an airplane that has crashed onto a rooftop? -- but we keep getting diverted by extemporaneous subplots that feel far removed from the action: We didn't even know Jack had a brother, and suddenly we're watching him torture the guy? Former President Logan has useful information on the Russians, but then he gets stabbed by the former first lady, Martha? President Wayne Palmer's sister's boyfriend, Walid, spies on some Muslims, finds out that they're completely innocent, and then disappears? Milo and Nadia at CTU alternately flirt and take turns appearing to be a mole? How do any of these stories really matter?

You may say that's the nature of the show, but "24's" plot twists weren't always so empty or so arbitrary. In the good old days, scheming characters may have been about as subtle as Old Man Withers on "Scooby-Doo," but at least they held a little weight and stuck around for more than two episodes. Remember how President Palmer's wife, Sherry, would alternately appear helpful and demonic? Remember how it wasn't always clear that she was up to no good? Remember how President Palmer's right-hand man, Mike Novick, was one part misguided jerk and one part loyal footservant? Remember how it used to feel dramatic when we suspected that there was a mole in CTU? Hell, even poor Edgar dropping dead from the nerve gas was a diversion that felt heavy, relative to the idiotic backbiting among Morris, Milo, Nadia and Doyle. Who cares if any of them are moles, really? Essentially flat characters like Tony and Michelle look like incredibly rich, complicated personalities, compared with these jokers.

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