It's bringing out the inner ward heeler in the survivors. And even the slowest one of the group -- that would be Colby -- can count to five.

And a 5-5 tie is what the two tribes are looking at.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. The lean-and-mean Kucha tribe has been running over Ogakor with regularity.

The tribe jettisoned Kimmi, the whiny vegetarian who wouldn't bathe, and was left with Mike, the fanatic who delivered; Alicia, the honed tough gal; Rodger, the can-do older guy; Elisabeth-with-an-S; sturdy Nick; and whiny but game Jeff.

Ogakor was made from weaker stuff: Jerri -- the evil Cruella de Puddle -- whose intrigues merely weakened the tribe; factotum Amber, Jeff to Jerri's Mutt; malleable Tina; hunky but dim Colby; and Keith the chef.

On their imaginary "Survivor" Palm Pilots, Kucha, ahead 6-5, had stomping on Ogakor scheduled for the following show. Ogakor was going to shrink to four. The two groups would merge, and then Ogakor would be tribal council hors d'oeuvres for the next four weeks, marched off like so many Australian chickens to Kentucky Joe's chopping blocks.

This scenario worked for us.

It would be great, of course, to see Jeff booted off the show. Jeff is the ultimate back-seat complainer. He seems to have spent most of his time in the outback chatting to the "Survivor" camera, rattling off observations that always seem to be ... wrong.

There was, for example, his assessment of Mike's pig-catching skills. "'I'm going to catch pigs,'" he mocked. "Classic Mike -- he's an idiot. I want to see your pig. Go get me a pig."

Mike found the pig and killed it. We felt sorry for the pig, but it had to go, just to keep Jeff quiet for a day or so.

But Jeff aside, the Kimmi-less Kucha members are straight-up folks. We couldn't wait to see the members of Ogakor slurped up one by one, like a platypus dining on shellfish.

It was going to be good clean Australian fun.

But then Mike had a crazy accident. He fell into a fire, burning the heck out of his hands in the process. He was taken off the show by a "Survivor" helicopter.

The powers that be at "Survivor" decreed that there would be no immunity challenge that day, and that the tribes would merge as they were, five to five.

Mike, we see now, may turn out to be "Survivor's" version of Harold Godwinson: anointed leader, casualty of battle.

Will Kucha rebuff the invaders on the field of Hastings? Or will history repeat itself and see a once proud and defiant empire brought to its knees by the outback equivalent of a band of energized Frenchmen?

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