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Tie that kangaroo down, Colby! | 1, 2, 3, 4, 5


The women go trotting over the land toward the Ogakors. They meet the other women and immediately hug and squeal together, as women do.

They all have a good laugh. Alicia and Elisabeth tell them that the Kucha boys are waiting for chicks to show up.




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They breathlessly tell Jerri, Amber and Tina about Mike's accident, dressing it up a little for effect.

"His hands were burned off!" says Alicia.

"We were crying, we were a mess," Elisabeth says.

Meanwhile, Keith and Colby make it over to Kucha, and are greeted with some surprise by Nick, Rodger and Jeff.

"We were expecting the women over here," Rodger says uncomfortably.

"Rodger, I'm really sorry; I didn't even bring a skirt," Colby says.

Later, talking to the camera, Colby's appalled. "We came strolling in, and they were expecting to wine and dine the women of Ogakor!"

He makes it sound like the rape of the Sabine women was in the offing.

"The women of Ogakor" has a nice dramatic ring to it, until you remember it's merely shorthand for an evil ice queen, her unquestioning henchwoman and a morally indistinct nurse.

"All I saw from Colby was teeth," Jeff says later, back to his bitchy postmortems. He further demonstrates his mastery of the vehement declaration based on little or no evidence. "And Keith just seemed like a little puppy tailing behind him."

Keith, of course, masterminded the stinging rebuke of Jerri two weeks ago.

The Kucha guys impress their Ogakor guests mightily with their camp and, particularly, the chicken, which Rodger kills and plucks and chef Keith wraps in bark and roasts with lemon pepper.

The Ogakor women are as sorry as they come. They're kind of like a trio of shabby working-class wives trying to host a little party for the tony Welcome Wagon ladies and making a big mess of it.

It starts to rain, and Jerri has to scramble to protect the fire. Keith's walked off with the tribe's matches.

It's all Jerri can do to not burst out in a rant against Keith. The group is trying not to let on that Keith is vulnerable.

With the last of her tribe's flour she makes her guests the tortillas she's been lording over her group since the first days in the outback.

In front of the classier Kucha women they suddenly seem a little ... pathetic.

"They normally look better," Jerri says fretfully, poking at the pan.

"I'm going home," Elisabeth says in mock disgust, trying to break the ice.

Jerri, Amber and Tina make a gesture and open up a can of tomatoes for their guests.

The women all sit around and talk about food, getting themselves all worked up again.

"We were torturing ourselves!" Elisabeth says.

Everyone goes to bed.

In last year's "Survivor," one person from each camp was deputized to go over, check out the other camp and decide which one to combine into for the merge.

The producers, you will recall, stuck Sean the affectless internist and teary Jenna into a candlelit tent, but no business resulted.

This time the producers surprise the groups in the morning. They have to abandon their beloved camps!

They have 15 minutes to take what they can and then walk two hours through the underbrush to a new combined camp, at which they're going to have to rebuild their tent and start a new fire.

It's fun watching Jerri when she gets distressed.

She tramps through the brush with a put-upon look on her face. It says, "Why am I, comely queen that I am, forced to put up with this?"

She has brought along her bongos, on which we saw her last week accompany her chanted pleas for hot outback wallaby sex.

We don't think the bongos are going to be appreciated by her new tribe mates.

But when they get to the new camp, the 10 are delighted to find that the producers have left a big box with the fixings for an elegant picnic. No crappy fructose-laden and oversalted American fast food this time -- just figs, crackers, blueberries and wine.

The girls squeal with delight and paw at the food like starved dingoes. Nick steps back, a little disgusted. Shouldn't the group as a whole decide what to do with the food and make sure everyone gets a fair share? he wonders.

Everyone seems happy, but Jeff sees a plot behind every scrub brush.

"I saw Colby go and talk and whisper to Jerri," he says, "and then go over to Keith and start whispering and counting on his fingers. They weren't here 15 minutes and it started!"

He's probably offended that they got a head start.

They group has to decide where to put up the tent. The guys want to put it up on a hill under some trees; Jerri, reverting to form, starts getting pushy and wants it down closer to the river.

"Sometimes you run into a situation where there's too many chiefs and not enough Indians," sniffs Colby.

The group decides to call itself Barramundi, which is the name of an Australian fish.

. Next page | A plan just crazy enough to work
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