Next, each is allowed to pick the person who they think will most appeal to their mate and "block" them. Once blocked, the single cannot "date" the mate -- in "Temptation Island"-speak, "date" apparently means "spend time alone with on a sailboat" -- but they can talk to them as much as they like.

Can everyone see it coming?

Taheed starts. He looks at three guys and gives the blocking bracelet to a guy named Maceo, who is about 10 years younger than Ytossie and doesn't really look like her type. Ytossie blocks a medical resident named Venus (who despite the name, is not really the bombshell type) from dating Taheed. A relieved Taheed smiles distractedly. Kaya looks carefully up and down the line and blocks the cute massage therapist. Valerie blocks a kittenish kindergarten teacher named Megan -- a sunnier, sexier version of herself -- from dating Kaya.

Kaya's response is, "Good choice. That was a good block." Host Walberg is incredulous. "That was a good block? Could have been trouble there?" "Who knows?" says Kaya. Valerie is starting to break our hearts.

Mandy blocks Carla, the pink-haired bassist from Seattle. Billy likes "funky girls," she explains. Billy smiles. Billy is starting to break our hearts, too. He dramatically marks the masseur. In the good old days nobles and gentlemen settled disputes about women with glove-slaps to the face and duels, addressing each other as "Sir" all the while. The 21st century reality-TV version of this process involves the manager of an Athlete's Foot shop dropping a Deadhead bracelet in front of a masseur on a Caribbean beach in an attempt to stop him from having on-camera monkey sex with his girlfriend.

And some people say our culture has devolved.

The repellent, unattractive Andy can't resist putting Shannon in her place. As he approaches the beefcake lineup for his block, he turns to the others and says, "For Shannon it's not so much physical as it is emotional." Read: "I may be a chunky, ugly kayaker, but I know just how to put her down." He picks a generic-looking special-ed teacher, saying, "Sorry, man, she's a hot lady. She's a hot lady."

Shannon dutifully laughs in appreciation of his "charm." Then she turns to the girls and shrugs, "I wouldn't have picked him." Shannon walks to the skinniest, tartiest youngest blond, Elizabeth, and blocks her from dating Andy. Elizabeth waves sadly at Andy as he yells, "I knew it! I knew it! On the money."

Afterward, everyone's allowed to mingle. Elizabeth and Andy chat and tear into Shannon. "She was eyeballing me, she was staring me down," Elizabeth tells the grinning Andy. "God, nobody has ever not liked me in my entire life and that girl is staring at me!"

Andy laughs at "that girl." He says, "She's obviously thinking that you're the best-looking one of the 13."

We wish Andy ill. Happily, the other boyfriends hang back and shuffle around their cabin and think volleyball sounds like a really good idea.

That night, at the couples' last dinner together, the strain starts to show. Taheed says he's spoken to the forbidden Venus; Ytossie snaps, "Immediately." The sadistic Andy mentions that he spoke to Elizabeth for over an hour and that "she's neat."

"How does that make you feel, Shannon?" asks Walberg.

Shannon is speechless. "It bothers me a little bit."

Ytossie not-so-casually mentions that she spent some time talking to the "very handsome" massage therapist, Sean. "He has manners and a respect for women that every woman should love." Andy turns sharply to look at Shannon. Shannon looks wistfully at Ytossie. Valerie looks at Kaya.

Mark Walberg smiles. "Is that a turn-on?" he asks the women. "Big time," Ytossie says. Taheed shakes his head. Ytossie just keeps getting more and more upset; she understands already she's made a big mistake. She wants some sort of reassurance from Taheed. He's not giving it.

She storms out of the room and winds up on the beach, sobbing so hard she can barely talk.

"No matter how many women he has sex with, none of them will ever love him as much as I did."

The couples split up and go to join their respective temptations. The show ends with the boys in a cabana clubhouse, drinking and carousing with the single gals, some of whom are shown in the pool spanking each other.

And the women -- well, the women are seen crouched on the beach in the dark, ministering to the sobbing Ytossie.

It's the sickest thing we've ever seen ... and it's only on once a week.

(Carina Chocano)

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