"She's hot as hell and she has this amazing, beautiful reef ass," he says.

We think. We don't know what a reef ass is.

"She's right out of the inside corner of every surfing magazine you've ever looked at."

Does he mean like a coral reef? Wouldn't it cut you?

Billy chooses Vanessa, and wonders if he will become more affectionate with her over time. Kaya takes his time, then chooses Megan. Andy leans back, rolls his eyes and puffs out his cheeks in consternation.

"I think Andy fell in love with Megan," Kaya says.

Next: Some filler, then the same thing all over again.

Mandy picks Matt and Valerie picks Evan so that Shannon might have Tom. You know, Tom, the 27-year-old "Ivy League graduate." As Valerie, who is "here to be honest," says, there's "something there" between Shannon and Tom.

From what we can tell, they're big on hugging.

Date footage follows: shots of trees, Andy talking about ass, Mandy having fun, Valerie scowling. Pretty much the usual.

Shannon, it seems, is starting to emerge from her five-year coma. At this point, she's not sure who has "more good points" -- Tom or her boyfriend, underemployed, abusive creep Andy.

Vanessa and Billy are having fun, too. Vanessa grabs a big island butterfly and lets it flap its wings against her formidable cleavage.

Vanessa thinks Billy is "a true love."

"She said that she would be more than willing to do whatever I wanted to do," Billy says. "And I was like, 'Well, should I?' I don't really know if I should. Maybe I should."

"I don't really want to be here anymore," Valerie says after her date with Evan. "I just can't fake it. I want to be doing these things with Kaya."

Meanwhile, Kaya is sharing some special, intimate underwater moments with Megan.

We feel horrible. If Valerie wants to call later, just to talk, we're totally here. We officially feel sorriest for Valerie. We really feel just horrible.

Luckily, Fox switches to Andy and Elizabeth's date, so the comedy starts before we start to cry.

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