To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > Arts & Entertainment May 17, 2000 URL: http://www.salon.com/ent/log/2000/05/17/thong Shakespeare meets Sisqo Shall I compare thy thong to a ... - - - - - - - - - - - - By James Diers Spring breakers, club predators and Top 40 thrill-seekers have fallen head over buns for "The Thong Song," R&B sensation Sisqo's uninhibited ode to that most skimpy of lower-body garments. Sure, the thong may bring out the dirty dawg in all of us, but isn't there a more sophisticated means of praise than that freaky MTV refrain? If Shakespeare were alive and kicking it in Cancun, he might have offered his own two shillings. Indeed, there's nothing like iambic pentameter to class up a concept. "THE THONG SONNET" O shapely arse by trousers not concealed Your vision so divine it roundly speaks Of passion unconfined and love revealed A thread of heaven laid between two cheeks On Acapulco sand I greet your form Amongst the hoochie thighs and frat guy leers With Molson Ice in hand the suitors swarm And sniff like dogs at passing sun-baked rears But neither man nor beast could ever hope To harness that which flosses supple ass With several inches of synthetic rope Accentuating posterior mass Sweet thong, your countenance up in that crack Doth dutifully confirm: Baby got back salon.com | May 17, 2000   - - - - - - - - - - - - About the writer James Diers is the editor of requestline.com and a contributing editor at Request Magazine.