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"Boot Camp" -- the complete guide

The latest preposterous reality TV show from Fox: 16 raw recruits! Four rough-and-tough drill sergeants! Shouted orders! Preposterous rhymes!

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If there was one thing missing from the Great Reality TV Wars of the early 21st century, it was the opportunity to shout, loudly and directly, at some of the people who appeared in them.

The Fox network, with "Boot Camp," has finally made that dream come true, as four true-to-life Marine drill sergeants abuse 16 contestants-cum-recruits over the next eight weeks.

The premise sees the 16 recruits go through a 30-day boot camp ordeal at an undisclosed military base. They must follow orders and accomplish challenges, "Survivor" style, to win perks (like an extra hour of sleep) and amnesty from the weekly ejection of one recruit.

In an evil twist, "Boot Camp" allows the bootee each week to take someone with him or her. The last recruit standing takes home $500,000.

We'll post a recap of the previous evening's episode every Thursday morning, Pacific time. In the meantime, check out:

"Survivor: The Australian Outback" Hunger! Scheming! Barfing! Why, it's just like old times!

"Temptation Island" -- the episode-by episode guide Babealicious women! Hunkariffic guys! Doomed couples!

"The Mole," episode by episode What if they put on a reality show and no one cared? A complete guide to the most confusing and pointless reality show yet!

"Survivor," complete Barfing! Backbiting! Richard's big white ass! An episode-by-episode guide to the Darwinian high jinks of CBS's island castaways -- right up to the surprising conclusion.

"Big Brother" -- the complete story Jordan the ho! Eddie the good son! Curtis the cipher! Episode by episode, a complete guide to the antics of Mega, Karen and Brittany the cuddle slut.

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"Boot Camp," thus far:

Just Posted! The finale: Come back, little Yaney! Wolf and Whitlow, put through the rigors, face the recruits on the final Dismissal Hill

Episode 8: It all comes down to gerbils! Recruits Whitlow and Wolf endure a sleepless, never-ending gauntlet. So do we

Episode 7: Let's call the whole thing off! You say Moretty, we say Moretti! Plus: the case of the pilfered mint

Episode 6: Reality TV is hell! Treachery, thy name is Moretti-with-an-i. Plus: Jackson is a water wussy

Episode 5: McSweeney goes nuts! And Moretty just says no! Plus: Our balloon bursts

Episode 4: We get our thrill on Dismissal Hill! For once, Yaney blows up something besides a balloon

Episode 3: Tell it to the Marines! Just another recruit meets balloons, recruit-loses-balloons, recruit-gets-balloons-back-again story

Episode 2: Pooped! Everything you wanted to know about boot camp bathrooms. Plus: "There's always a Gomer Pyle!"

Episode 1: "Sir yes sir!" Apoplectic sergeants and shorn recruits get to know one another. Plus: The girls get sneaky!