Dopes on a rope!
"Chains of Love" shackles a contestant to four suitors of the opposite sex for four days in a quest for money, love and personal humiliation.
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It's reality TV -- UPN style!
The tiniest network of them all tries to get into the game with this redolent concoction, which chains a contestant to four members of the opposite sex for four days in a Southern California playpen of an oceanside mansion.
The player in the middle gets to throw off his or her suitors until only one is left. Those two are left to spend the night together and boff -- or as the show puts it, given the chance to "have a relationship together."
The show says the five are chained 24 hours a day, but the players actually get shower and bathroom breaks.
Our "Chains of Love" coverage is part of the new Salon Premium program; for $30 a year, you get Salon with no ads -- plus extra features like "Chains of Love." Click on one of the "Chains" updates below for details.
Look for an update published here each Wednesday morning. In the meantime, check out our other reality TV coverage, all of which remains free:
"Survivor: The Australian Outback"
Hunger! Scheming! Barfing! Why, it's just like old times!
"Boot camp" -- the complete guide
16 raw recruits! Four rough-and-tough drill sergeants! Shouted orders! Preposterous rhymes!
"Temptation Island" -- the episode-by episode guide
Babealicious women! Hunkariffic guys! Doomed couples!
"The Mole," episode by episode
What if they put on a reality show and no one cared? A complete guide to the most confusing and pointless reality show yet!
"Survivor," complete
Barfing! Backbiting! Richard's big white ass! An episode-by-episode guide to the Darwinian high jinks of CBS's island castaways -- right up to the surprising conclusion.
"Big Brother" -- the complete story
Jordan the ho! Eddie the good son! Curtis the cipher! Episode by episode, a complete guide to the antics of Mega, Karen and Brittany the cuddle slut.
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"Chains of Love," thus far:
Just posted! Episode 6: Skanks for the memories! The Ivy League meets a few shapely potted plants on the thrilling finale of "Chains of Love."
Episode 5: Two cheeseballs, no waiting Is that a Garden-Weasel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Episode 4: The psycho beside me Shannon goes wacky to get attention, but Tomas has eyes only for Jane's implants.
Episode 3: Hookers, threesomes and flirtatious babes! It's another classy night of entertainment from UPN.
Episode 2: The fifth wheel Stephanie, a girl with standards, gets four guys who just wanna party. We say, He who smelt it dealt it!
Episode 1: Dopes on a rope! Andy, a guy who has issues with women, is chained to four babes. Welcome to reality TV, UPN style.
