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One of the most visible side effects of the drama surrounding Tiger Woods' truly epic indiscretion has been its high entertainment value. In the wake of the jokes in late-night monologues, the impending porn movie and the slow jam, it was perhaps inevitable somebody would turn it into a game.
Yet wide as the berth we give to rib-tickling diversion may be, there are some things that are plain stupid. Take, for example, "Tiger's Transgressions," wherein the object is to help Tiger knock out blabbermouth "hos" with "well-timed" drives before they reach a news van. As its creator, Dominic A. Tocci, explains, it's the "most fun and greatest mistress assaulting golf simulator of 2010." There are two levels of play, depending on how "easy" you like your hos. Oh, look, there's one sauntering outside the Sex Addiction Clinic. Take a swing! Miss the shot? That's a "ho hitting fail." So popular is the chick-blitzing game that it's clocked in over 4,600,000 plays since its debut in mid-December, garnering a 91 percent approval rating on Atom.
On his blog, Tocci crows that, "By and large it seems the general public has a sense of humor these days. Sweet." Well, Tocci, that's why I'm here to represent for the Angry, Bitter Feminists. See, I know it's just a game. I understand that the creator of "Bush's Shoe Dodge" and "Hunting With Palin" is simply making light of the news. And no one could accuse Mr. Woods' special ladies of not being media-chasing opportunists themselves.
But there's something seriously clueless about a creating a game where the object is "assaulting" the "hos." Aside from the fact that that's what we have "Grand Theft Auto" for, the implication that when a man cheats, the women he dallies with deserve punishment is already pervasive enough, thanks. Furthermore, do we really need to explain the non-hilarity of violence against women? (And no, it wouldn't be amusing if the game were about a scorned wife trying to mow down her husband either.) But most galling of all, knocking down defenseless targets like they're ducks at the arcade is just some weak-ass gaming. Forget Tiger and "the front 9" -- we'll stick to Rolando.
What's a man to do when he meets the woman of his dreams -- and she just happens to be make-believe? Why, he proposes to her anyway. Last weekend, a man who goes by the screenname Sal9000 married Nene Anegasaki, his virtual girlfriend in a real-life ceremony presided over by a priest and broadcast live online. (I can only imagine how the priest concluded the ceremony: I now pronounce you husband and video game -- you may kiss the bride's pixels?) The happy couple met in the Nintendo DS game Love Plus, an interactive courting challenge that I previously wrote about because Japanese girlfriends and wives were reportedly complaining about the grip these made-up girlfriends had on their men. Now, the game has inspired what Lisa Katayama of Boing Boing calls "the first public wedding ceremony to ever take place between man and video game." Technically, the union isn't legally binding (although rumors do abound on gamer Web sites that the couple actually eloped to Guam, where marriage laws are apparently much, much more relaxed).
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I present you with video proof that there are people out there even more peculiar than your own kooky relatives. I for one am thankful that there won't be a place setting for a video game character at my family feast.
My son came home from middle school yesterday talking about "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2." One friend already owned it, he said wistfully. Another had somehow managed to convince his parents to splurge on the deluxe edition, complete with $200 night goggles.
Today, I learn from the headlines that "Call of Duty" sold 4.7 million copies in its first day (Veteran's Day in the U.S.) That's the most copies of a game sold in in a single day ever, and the $400 million take, reports the Financial Times, rivals the opening weekend U.S. box office take of "The Dark Knight." The newspaper industry and the music business might be having a difficult time surviving the combined effects of a down economy and the difficulties of finding business models that work on the Internet, but the gaming industry is powering ahead.
There's no beating this business model, I guess.
The game's appeal is simple and direct: Some people like to shoot things. Most of the time, we call them guys. The game brings death, destruction, loud sprays of gunfire, spreading pools of blood, a sophisticated musical score and really cool graphics into the homes of otherwise peace- loving people.
My son is skeptical as to whether the hyper-realism of "Call of Duty" will get parental approval. But maybe it's my patriotic duty to support him in his consumer frenzy -- blood, guts, and GDP growth.
The best way to understand "The Beatles: Rock Band" is to think of it as something completely separate from its predecessors in the wildly popular "Guitar Hero" and "Rock Band" series of video games, something different from all the video games that have preceded it, really. Because it's not a video game, not really -- it's a whole new kind of thing, an interactive Beatles experience.
And yes, the previous paragraph might as well have been written by the public relations team promoting the game. But that's because they were aiming to make something completely different this time around -- and, for the most part, they succeeded.
From the beginning, these musical video games have been a whole new genre. By offering facsimiles of musical instruments instead of the traditional game controller, they appealed to people not usually interested in figuring out that the "A" button means punch and that if you collect 100 stars you'll earn a new life. And they gave gamers the chance to live out their fantasies of rock stardom.
Adapting the game for the most iconic band in the history of pop music offered a new opportunity, an even wider audience. That, of course, includes older people who were even hesitant about playing the original "Rock Band" and "Rock Band 2."
The designers needed a way to draw in those added potential consumers; the solution they came up with should make everyone happy. The game ends up being sort of a history lesson about the Beatles. The "story mode," for instance, allows users to progress through the various stages of the band's career and play the venues they played, from the Cavern Club in Liverpool to Shea Stadium and the rooftop at their record label. As players achieve certain goals in that mode, they're rewarded with bits of digital memorabilia from the group's history: a photo album with captions fact-checked by Paul McCartney, video outtakes, rare audio like the limited-edition Christmas album recorded for members of the fan club.
There are a number of other details added to give the game an authentic Beatles feel, from actual studio chatter between the group's members to a new feature for the "Rock Band" series, vocal harmony parts. And throughout all elements of the game, stunning visual elements -- for the first time, it really can be enjoyable to watch others play -- make you feel as if you're watching it live.
True Beatles devotees will of course find reasons for disappointment -- there's the absence of keyboardist Billy Preston, for one thing, never mind Ringo predecessor Pete Best. And despite all its attempts at authenticity, the game leaves out the more complicated aspects of the band's time together, contributing to the ever-growing mythology surrounding the Beatles. Still, you're not likely to get a more accurate, or more entertaining, history class from any other video game out there.
Either Russia really is running nefarious energy experiments and flirting dangerously with the space time continuum, and the only people capable of uncovering it are a covert group of operatives who like to Twitter, or…something viral is afoot. And Netizens are picking up the scent.
In fact, as blog dosdotzero uncovered via some pretty nifty detective work, this is all a campaign for Activision’s new first-person shooter game Singularity, steered by ad agency DDB and video-seeding maestros Feed Company. The intrepid forum posters at Unfiction have uncovered even more content, including Flickr and Facebook accounts for Natasha. They also found another site, named Katorga 12 after the creepy island in question (and the in-game, tell-all book of the same name, whose author was killed under suspicious circumstances), which turns out to be the home of the Singularity trailer. Ah, yes, it’s all coming together.
Adding to the depth of content are nice little touches like Natasha’s Facebook friend, Emily, corresponding with curious online sleuths, and alxnder12, the YouTube poster of the assassination video, adding as “Favorites” actual Russian news stories that might catch the eye of an international conspiracy theorist. Yes, critics are already cropping up and taking swipes at the original video’s production values, the shakiness of some of the Russian translations, and the unlikelihood of anything very terrible happening with Einsteinium (the ominously referenced Element 99), no matter how far amok scientists might run with it. And sure, when you’re promoting a shooter, sooner or later you’re going go have to step away from the backstory and show some, you know, shooting. But these are still early days, and so far, this seems to be a pretty well-orchestrated campaign that’s already doing what it’s supposed to do: It’s got people talking.
Stay tuned. And keep an eye out for mad Russian scientists. Just in case.
Panic was my first reaction to the headline, "Electronic Arts Warns of Weak Holiday Sales." Forget about failing banks, automakers, mortgage lenders, homebuilders and all those horrible retail sales numbers. If the videogame industry is starting to tank, then it's time to put away the Great Depression comparisons and start invoking the Day of Judgement.
But a closer look reveals that not all videogame companies are in trouble.
The Wall Street Journal:
Other games companies like Japan's Nintendo Co. and Activision Blizzard Inc. still appear to be doing well with a collection of products that include music games like Guitar Hero and Wii Music.
"People are buying games," said Wedbush Morgan Securities analyst Michael Pachter. "They're just not buying EA's games."
I can testify to this with some first-hand observation. During his allotted daily "screen-time," if my 11-year-old isn't hunched over his Nintendo DS-Lite, he's deep into Blizzard's "World of Warcraft." Meanwhile, his grandmother has invested in the Wii. Neither are at all interested, however, in EA's premier game, "Madden Football."
So if you're looking for companies that can resist a bad recession, just follow the grandmothers and the eleven-year-old boys. The games they play are the keepers.
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