A L S O +T O D A Y Old wine in new bottles
The first temptation of Christ
| WAS JESUS GAY? | PAGE 2 OF 2 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I ate lunch hurriedly -- two sardine sandwiches. Like other ex-mackerel snappers, I always eat fish when I feel sinful. A guilty return to the no-meat-on-Friday penance. Fortified, I returned to my examination of Jesus' libido. I telephoned William Hagan, my advisor in grad school. He's a former Jesuit who is now happily married (to a woman). "Hi, Bill. I never asked you -- do you think Jesus had sex?" "Absolutely. The Gospels indicate that Jesus was intimate with Mary Magdalene. She anoints him after his death -- then, Jesus appears to her first, after the Resurrection. Jesus says, 'Mary, don't touch me now!' This implies a physical relationship. I believe they had children, too. There's a sect that still claims blood lineage from Jesus and Magdalene." "Wow, Bill, thanks. But ... uh ... do you think Jesus was gay, too?" "Never heard of that theory." The queer Jesus notion felt lonely and limp; no straight male scholar was willing to touch it. It took a woman, Mary A. Tolbert from the Pacific School of Religion, to stir vital life back into the proposition. Dr. Tolbert maintained, "There are problems regarding the authenticity of Morton Smith's letter, but ... it sounds like Clement, stylistically." "You mean ... Jesus did it? He performed a gay act?" "Homosexuality's a concept that didn't exist in Biblical culture." "Elucidate, please," I sniffed, pretentiously. "Sexual relations," she explained patiently, "weren't based on gender preference. Sex only happened between 'dominants' and 'submissives.'" "You're saying -- 'tops and bottoms' preceded hets and gays?" "A free man could have sex with a woman, a slave, or a boy. That would be natural." "So ... You're saying -- Jesus was a 'dominant' stud?" "No, Jesus reversed the traditional behavior. He did things that are termed passive or womanly, dishonorable in male society. He washed his apostles' feet. He preached, 'Blessed are the meek.' Jesus urged men to give up power. He presented a radical model of being a man." "So ... was he gay or not?" "I told you -- the concept didn't exist." When I hung up the phone, my eavesdropping wife asked, "She's a feminist, right? What'd she say?" "She thinks Jesus can't be gay and he can't be straight, but his behavior indicates he's a 'bottom.'" "Oh!" My wife laughed. "Is that what he meant when he said, 'Turn the other cheek'?" "Pig," I snorted. "I'm going back to the library."
Last time I was there, I forgot to comb the shelves in the "Gay and Lesbian" section. This time, I scanned those tidy rows for the early 200s -- Philosophy & Religion. A bold title snagged my glance: "Jesus Acted Up" by Robert Goss. This manifesto lists scholars who subscribe to the gay Jesus theory. Hugh Montefiore, for example, an Anglican trailblazer who shocked Oxford in 1967 when he informed a conference of his opinion. And, Robert Williams, author of "Just As I Am: A Practical Guide to Being Out, Proud, and Christian," with its spicy chapters like "Jesus Had a Penis," "Jesus the Sissy" and "God Likes to Party." I telephoned Dr. "Bob" Goss the next morning; he's assistant professor of comparative religion at Webster University in St. Louis. "Why," I asked, "are all the U.S. scholars who claim Jesus is gay also gay themselves? Why can't I find a straight academic who agrees with you?" He snorted. "There's a tremendous amount of homophobia in U.S. religious departments. Scholars fear our position will lead to professional suicide." "OK," I continued. "You think Jesus was gay, so -- who's the boyfriend? Is it John, the 'beloved' apostle?" "The Gospel never defines John as the 'beloved' -- that's just a theory. I believe the 'beloved' disciple was Lazarus." "The guy Jesus raised from the dead?" "Yes. Lazarus also receives the 'sexual baptism' in Morton Smith's document." "Wait a minute, Bob. That Morton thing is vague." "Oh, come on. A man who loves you comes into your bedroom and spends all night naked with you? That's a clear indication, I think." "OK, OK. But what about the accepted Gospels? Anything there?" "John 19:26-28. Jesus is dying on the cross, and it says, 'When Jesus saw his mother, and the beloved disciple standing by, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold thy son!" Then he said to the disciple, "Behold thy mother!" After this, Jesus knew all things were accomplished.' When my own lover died of AIDS, the identical thing happened. He said, 'Take care of my lover. Take care of my mother.' Gay men who've been through this, we intuit the intimacy between Jesus and 'the beloved.'" "Gosh. Sorry. Anything else?" "At the Last Supper, the 'beloved' lies on the inner tunic of Jesus -- that's the undergarment. They eat together, side by side. What's being portrayed here is a pederastic relationship between an older man and a younger man. A Greek reader would understand." "Oh my. Like Plato's 'Symposium' -- Socrates and Alcibiades?" "Exactly. Jesus lived in a Hellenistic society. Men entered a mentoring relationship with older men, in the pederastic model of learning."
I can't tell Brian he's wrong, because maybe he's not. Jesus has the flexible strength of all great heroes in literature; he represents myriad things to innumerable people. Wannabe-celibates can bind their restraint to the eunuch passage in Matthew. Heteros can enjoy suggestions that Magdalene and Messiah were frisky. Gays get two choices: Jesus, the radical bottom or the penetrating mentor. There's enough innuendo to satisfy everyone. A sexually ambiguous Jesus is perfect, really. Everybody can claim him; no one is excluded. He's the ideal leader, ironically, for a sexually
tolerant religion. Unfortunately, few of his followers see him as anything
other than their own libidos writ large.
Hank Hyena is a columnist for the Gate and a frequent contributor to Salon. |
![[Salon Magazine]](/media/src/salon_logo.gif){kind=logo}
