The Geek

The hunt for the perfect gadget.

By Salon staff

We are living in an age of geekdom, where the nerd who used to sport the taped glasses and pocket protector inherits the earth -- and the stock options, and the girl (or boy). Nobody's pencil-neck, today's geek knows how to operate the latest gizmo and the Pilates machines. He can update his Vlog while driving his classic biodiesel Jaguar XK-120 while peeing into a portable sewage system that filters toxins and creates fresh water for third-world children. He is James Bond! She is Athena! But what the hell do you get them?

Illustrations by Ryan Germick

The Coupon:

With all that gadgetry comes a big box of adapters, chargers and other cords that eventually become a big knot of frustration. You'll come over and untangle that mess, and bring order to all those crossed wires.
Send your coupon now.

The Bargain:

The new iPod Shuffle is so damn cute, we could chew on it like a squeeze toy. At $80, it's not cheap, but it's a lot more affordable than those early models, which sure do seem big and clunky now.

Low-cost:

Whichever side of the gaming wars your Geek is on -- Wii or PlayStation -- steer clear of it. It's like politics -- pick the wrong candidate, your pal may never look at you the same way again. But why not go a little old school and give this delightful Atari Flashback 2 game console, for just $19.99? Pong! Centipede! Asteroids! And 37 other games, along with that cheesy wood veneer you spilled so many Cheetos on, back in the day.

Mid-range:

Maybe she'd like to hide her big clunky Nano, since the new Shuffle's so adorable. Possibly her camera is too sleek or her cellphone too generically shiny for her individualistic streak. So get her this charming, hand-knit rat case from Jack Spade ($50).

The voyeuristic possibilities available with this rinky-dink RCA Small Wonder camcorder ($129) are a little unnerving to us -- and undoubtedly thrilling to our Geek. It fits into your pocket, and records up to 60 minutes of footage.

Swim laps, surf or scuba-dive while listening to music? The thought steams up our buffed-up Geek's horn rims. The Freestyle Audio Fusion DMP Waterproof MP3 Player ($139.95 to $199.95) connects to any computer, which means that 30 minutes of freestyle can be accompanied the way it was always supposed to be: by a podcast of "The Infinite Mind."

Luxury:

Surround Sound is no longer only for the Bill Gateses and your neighborhood multiplex. The Sonos Digital Music System allows you to easily, and wirelessly, string together a wireless, multiroom digital music system. And it comes with a handy remote, so you can listen to whatever, wherever and whenever you want. (Systems range from $349 to over $2,000.)

If you simply want to own your Geek's love and loyalty forever, give him a Serene, the $1,250 cellphone that turns grown men into whimpering puppies.

As our favorite true audiophile friend put it: "This would be to die for." Slim Devices' Transporter "streams digital music with sound quality that surpasses even the most exotic compact disc players," according to the company. And reading through numerous music-obsessive online forums, we could find not a single real unhappy customer ($1,999).