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By Mary Roach

June 4, 1999 | Dr. H.M. Pennypacker is one of the few men you'll meet who has had a mammogram. Pennypacker had a mammogram for the same reason millions of women have mammograms: He found a lump while examining his breasts. (Like other humans with very small breasts, he found his mammogram quite uncomfortable. "Now I know why women bitch about it," said Pennypacker, and then he apologized for his language.)

Why was Pennypacker examining his breasts? Because he knows that men get breast cancer too, though not very often. (One in 1,000 men, over the course of a lifetime, develops it, as opposed to one in eight women.) The more telling reason is that Pennypacker's life, for the past 17 years, has revolved around breast lumps. Pennypacker is the inventor of a line of patented silicone Breast Models with Simulated Lumps, which are sold, along with videotapes and booklets, under the brand name MammaCare. At first, only medical and nursing schools bought the breasts. And they needed them: In a 1985 Journal of the American Medical Association study, 80 physicians were only able to find an average of 44 percent of the lumps hidden in a Pennypacker-designed breast model.

Mary Roach Mary Roach's column appears in Salon Health & Body every other Friday. + Biography + Archives

"The press picked up on it, and all hell broke loose," Pennypacker recalls. "Women said, 'What's going on here? We trust our lives to you guys, and you can't even find a Ping-Pong ball!'" (Actually, the biggest lump was one centimeter.) In 1988, Pennypacker came out with a self-examination breast model and video for home use.

The UPS man delivered my breast this morning. It is of average size and flesh toned, that is to say, Caucasian flesh tone (a "Breast Model of Color" is also available). It weighs about a pound and is squishy in the addictive way of those balls you squeeze in your palm when you're stressed.

I took out the video and opened the instruction booklet. "Position yourself in front of your television so that you are lying on your back," it said. I glanced at the sofa, which was occupied by the husband, lying on his back. On the television screen, race cars were circling a track. I explained what I needed to do. "Maybe you could drive to the 101 overpass and watch those cars go by," I said cheerfully. Ed would have none of it. "Can I watch the video with you?"

The tape began with an attractive woman in a purple dress, explaining the importance of breast self-examinations and early detection. Ed listened thoughtfully. I was touched that he wanted to be involved in my health this way. He took my hand in his and smiled. "Think we'll see hers?"

After the woman in the purple dress finished, there was an "interlude while you get completely and comfortably prepared."

"This is where you go get some snacks," said Ed, but he didn't, because the interlude is actually when you take off your shirt. "You use that one," he said, pointing to the Pennypacker breast, "and I'll practice on these."

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