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Ethnic workouts have always existed -- think oily Greco-Roman wrestling -- and were especially big in the early 1980s, during the height of the video workout craze. (Remember "Buns of Steel" with that silly man telling us to "squeeze out those cheeseburgers"?) But back then, ethnic workouts were marketed to their same demographic. Big sellers included the Irish "Jig Don't Jog," "Woman! Free Yo' Soul," the Yiddish dubbed workout tape "Putting on the 'Shvitz," and the short-lived "Afrobics" craze.

But now ethnic workouts have moved into America's gyms. Says Peg Jordan, R.N., author of "The Fitness Instinct" (Rodale Press, 1999), "The backbone of American aerobics up until now has been white girl, cheerleader, up-and-down moves. And people are really sick of that." Amen from this white chick.

And somewhere along the line, people forgot that workouts are supposed to be fun. Jordan says that the new generation of ethnic workouts provides a kinder, gentler way to exercise. "I got so sick of aerobics instructors shrieking at me, 'Do the helicopter! Do the helicopter!' With ethnic workouts you get to kick off your shoes and dance to live drummers. For the first time we're addressing the pleasure principal of workouts. I call it the seventh sense, the instinct for movement. Once you've connected with it there's no going back to rigid, repetitive aerobics."

In addition to helping white people look less idiotic on the dance floor, ethnic workouts are also a great way to get your heart pumping (and not only because your Latin dance instructor is so hot). "I'm all for any kind of workout which is getting people to move their bodies," says Lisa Sasson, a professor of sports nutrition at New York University who has consulted for Claudia Schiffer. "Exercise isn't just touching your toes or running on a treadmill by yourself for 20 minutes. You have to have fun too, and what better way to do it than by samba-ing or dancing to live drummers?"

A word of warning: Since many of these workouts can be strenuous for the uninitiated, Sasson stresses the importance of stretching before and after working out. "You need to work up to a certain level to take some of the more advanced classes," says Sasson. And this is no time to play Captain America. Be realistic about what kind of shape you're in and consult your doctor before starting any exercise program.

So this Princess America decided to dive headfirst into ethnic workouts. When I told a friend I couldn't meet for drinks because I had 16 exercise classes to attend this week, he said, "What? Are you trying to fit into a size 2 dress by, like, Saturday?"

That would take more than a week, sweetheart, and some major liposuction. But in seven days I cartwheeled, kicked, shimmied, drummed and sang, wiggled my booty, jiggled my breasts and learned to love my tummy. I have never been in so much pain in my life. And I loved it.

The first stop was a Krav Maga class (pronounced krav ma-GAH). Developed in 1948, it's the official self-defense system of the Israeli army. There are no rules and there is no underlying philosophy. (Which reminds me of an arms dealer I used to date who liked kick-boxing because all he had to do was "hit and be hit.") The classes were held at an Upper West Side preschool.

The class started off with good old-fashioned jumping jacks, sit-ups and push-ups. Then we paired off to practice simple self-defense moves, such as kicks, blocks, punches and choke holds. The instructor, Rhon Mizrachi, has been practicing Krav Maga since he was 8 years old, and is a former Israeli paratrooper.

Rhon has the kind of posture I'd seen only once before -- on a 5-foot-tall Cuban prison guard, during a journalism-school field trip to a Manhattan jail. Both men are short, stocky and look like they're about to rip your arms off and eat them for lunch. But Rhon -- with a voice that's smooth as butter and olive green eyes -- is an excellent and attentive instructor.

He explained that Krav Maga is based on simple moves that anyone -- man, woman or child of any size -- can quickly learn. It isn't about being able to balance on foot, spin and kick at someone's head to defend yourself. Its simplicity is one reason Krav Maga has been used by California, Arizona and Illinois police departments. It teaches you to go for the jugular -- or the eyes, groin or nose -- with all you've got. "We have three principles in Krav Maga," says Mizrachi, his eyes widening. "No. 1, the ability to receive pain. No. 2, the ability to deliver pain. And No. 3, the desire to survive."

Katrina Kothe, the highest ranking female instructor in the United States, explains the beauty of Krav Maga this way: "It doesn't matter if you're fighting a big guy who can bench 250 pounds. I mean, thank God that men have groins because you can hit them there and knock them out." Umm, yes, I also thank God men have groins but it's not for the same reason.

Next page | "We use entire body as weapon. The elbow, the head, the spit. We bite, you know"